End of an Era

After 20 months of breastfeeding Karen, I stopped expressing. This included 17 months of full breast milk for her. I was aiming for a year to match the length of time Kayrin was on breast milk. Happy that I've been given the chance to express for so long in that office of mine, I'm just grateful that Karen adjusted fast to formula milk. So there we go, among the last two bottles of breast milk. 

Something Sweet

This is for the girls. So that they know what daddy's like and why mommy loves him so. 

I'm not into PDA, and do not idolize the other half. SF, on the other hand, is not the one to profess a lot -- in words or otherwise. 

I love yous are no longer commonly uttered when there's hardly time to even talk.

Last week, however, something was said.

We'd just returned from a trip to Penang. The first in almost 2 1/2 years. The last time we were there, Karen wasn't even conceived yet.

Back home, sitting in the bedroom, I asked if Penang was greatly missed. 

Definitely, for the food, SF said.

Apart from the food, did he really miss Penang, I probed.

A moment in his thoughts, and this came out: I don't miss Penang because you're here with me.

That was the best thing he's ever said to me. Ever. It beats all the I love yous, I'd say.

Too sweet. Simply profound. 

My baby's grown up

Baby Karen has had only one purchase of socks from Mothercare since she was born. When I decided to "upgrade" her socks this week, it made me realize how she's grown.

Writing

Writing is fun. I've always loved to write. Never thought I'd leave the world of journalism. But here I am today, almost two years to the day of joining the corporate world. There's so much to learn here as well. The financial aspect is astounding -- what I thought I knew was just skimming the surface. While I miss writing, the challenge of working in a corporate world has brought me so many new friends too. That I'm very thankful for. 

Valentine's

Eleven years ago, I told SF that having Kayrin was the best Valentine's Day gift ever. Arriving 10 days before the celebration of love, her arrival means there was not enough time to sleep, never mind dinner for two!

Since then, we've never had anything to mark that day when the world is all awash with all that's lovey-dovey.

But this year, there was that opportunity. Not really a celebration on the day itself. But SF and I managed to sit down to lunch with just each other for company. Great dim sum (ok, the har-kau was a bit of a let-down but the egg-yolk dumplings and whatever else we ordered were yummy), beautiful surroundings with just the two of us to a table (and at least a dozen others in the table next to us), we had the rare opportunity not to be interrupted when conversing. To all parents out there, Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Frangipani

The new frangipani tree SF planted a few months back bore flowers for the first time -- both white and pink. Didn't look like there was any grafting though. How odd. 

2013

What has the year just past been like? Nothing too dramatic, and for that, I bow and say a prayer of thanks for an uneventful year.

It brings me near tears, feelings of regret when I think about Woan's passing, pa-ma's split and the family that we no longer were.

Yet, there are also tears of happiness seeing the two girls at home play with each other, seeing little mei-mei emulate jie-jie's dance moves.

Little mei, as jie-jie calls her, turned one and we celebrated with a photo shoot at my favourite studio on that day.

On a personal note, I've re-started yoga after a two-year hiatus, to discover I've lost a lot of core strength and my sense of balance.

KL was "under siege" this year, with the worst haze I've seen, and I definitely do not wish it upon an enemy.

May 2014 be a healthier, cleaner year for us all, and for the gahmen too!

Lost and Found

I've lost home keys but not car keys. Until yesterday. It happened on the way into the office. A Monday with a 9 am meeting, I rushed in, grabbing three heavy bags.

In a bit of a daze, I remember trying to get the key into my bag just as the bag was moving on the scanner's conveyor belt.

When it was time to leave the office 10 hours later, I could no longer find the key.

Therein started the frantic search in my office and building security's various offices. After numerous trips into the nearest office asking if they'd seen my "kunci kereta" and was told no, I was resigned to the fact that I'll be toting up quite a few hundred ringgit for a new key.

This morning, having parked in the exact spot that I did a day earlier, I retraced my steps and walked straight to the security room nearest to my regular office entrance.

Asking for a car key, I was told none was found.

I persisted. Perhaps there was a black leather holder this small, I gestured.

And there it was! Aish. They knew not this is a car key? Not an inkling yesterday and even today?

Just Golfing Around

Almost two months of driving the Polo Sedan and I'm thankful for the Golf TSI coming home to me. 

I now gush that the TSI has

1) such soft seats

2) speakers that produce very clear sound

3) a body that keeps the noise out

and best of all,

4) doesn't shift down to fourth gear because it's under-powered

Good to have perspective. In cars and in life. 

Kayrin Goes to Shanghai

There's been hardly time to blog lately. The first five months of the year has zoomed past in a jiffy. School started, exams came in March and Kayrin fell ill the day after exams ended. Five whole days of fever that started with a lot of throwing up. By the time she recovered, after Dr. Wong's administration, she was a skeleton of herself. Then I came down with flu and cough at the end of April and took more than a week to recover. By May, it was SF's turn. Baby Karen got her first viral bout after that. Fever and chesty cough that refused to go away until Dr. Wong returned from her trip and prescribed Binozyt the antibiotic. By then, it was Kayrin's exams again -- a period fraught with tantrums, resistance and smackings. Not fun at all. Oh, there was GE13 to keep everyone geared to the Internet in the month of May.

Now that May is coming to an end, I'm here on a Sunday morning, having dropped Kayrin and her grandma off at the airport near midnight for their first trip together. Shanghai beckons for grandma and Kayrin's the first among SF, Karen and I to step foot there. Enjoy your break, Kayrin, and may you learn to appreciate home better being away from mommy, daddy, 妹妹 and kakak for 12 days.

Five and Almost 10

Little Karen is five months and two weeks old today while Kayrin is 11 days away from having a two-digit age, so Kayrin tells me.
At 5 and a bit months, little Karen has just learned how to flip onto her tummy from her back. She's turning only on her left side so far. No more leaving her on the bed alone.
Kayrin is enjoying being left to sleep alone in her bedroom and discovering that time at school can be more fun than being at home.
How we reminisce about good old school days. I went to five schools in all. But the two that made the biggest impression on me had the motto "Simple in Virtue, Steadfast in Duty."
Some of my best teachers were there. In my primary school of SRK Convent Butterworth, there was the super fierce Ms Law. She made us tremble in fear but she also ensured I came out with straight As in the Standard 5 national exams. Mrs. Wong the librarian allowed us to scramble for books during library hour. She told us stories of her time at missionary boarding school.
In SM Convent Butterworth, I had a bigger host of teachers whose dedication made an imprint till now.
Madam Lee Mee Lin taught English in Secondary 1. She made us complete our essays in class. That made me enjoy writing so much that writing became a career for two decades. I must look her up. As our class teacher, she also started this question and answer time where we could drop questions anonymously into a box. A classmate asked about VD. She answered frankly.
There was Mrs. Thong our Geography teacher. Fierce and all, I later got to know her son and visited their home for years to come.
Mr. Saw, our Form 2 mathematics teacher, taught us the subject in a different way. We understood Maths! During one lesson, he drew circles with chalk on the pavements of school and told us to measure the ratio of the circumference to the diameter. That was our introduction to pi.
Mrs. Michael taught us Geography that year and she'd draw a map of Australia, South America and Africa free hand on the blackboard. She'd make us laugh too. I had many more great teachers and the two best ones I had at home. My parents. They taught others outside our home and they taught me everything from Mandarin to parts of Geography I didn't understand. While I was very sure I didn't want to be a teacher, the ones in my life I must salute and thank. Where'd I be without you.

2012: Karen Arrives, Kayrin Rides

Another year wraps up. In 2012, chronological-wise, we moved home, i changed job and welcome baby Karen. The bonus baby's an exact replica of Kayrin when it comes to looks.
To end the year, Kayrin learned to cycle the same evening she got on a two-wheeler belonging to a neighbour. Her own smaller bicycle had been languishing at home because mommy didn't have the time to teach her.
I'm reminded of the time, in 1981, when I learned to cycle on a neighbour's bicycle in Butterworth. Swiveling left and right to balance myself at the backlane of the house, I crashed into a tua pek kong by the side of the lane. I cycled right after.

I Miss Google Maps

I may not be very good at navigating when it comes to maps but I've always loved looking at maps. World maps, street directories, wall maps and atlases all fascinate me and I'd peer for hours at any one of them.
Back in the days when the Klang Valley street directory was a thick book of several hundred pages, I'd pore over the maps each year a new book is published.
When Google map came as an installed app on the iPhone, it became a regular fixture in my life and I took it for granted. My life was made easier and I never asked, "What was life like before Google map?"
Then, Apple did something so idiotic it astounded me. Apple replaced Google map with something so lacking and not ready for use that I realized right away how dependent I had been on Google map. I almost cried.
Waze is fun to use but nothing beats Google map in its clarity. Please, please, someone get me a proper Google map app please.

Before I Forget

Before I forget, I cried when you were brought into my arms.
Tears of relief you've arrived, safe and sound, without harm.
Before I forget, you were both colicky,
Making a straight night's sleep impossible as can be.
Before I forget, nursing you was rather tricky,
One boob was not what you sought initially.
Before I forget, my favourite thing to do was inhaling your scent continuously,
even though grandma said that'd make you naughty.
Before I forget, my heart sings when told by daddy,
how hearing my voice would make you more than happy,
I was the cow whom you chose gladly.
I won't want to forget the days of having you with me as I went to work;
I don't want to forget how you squirmed inside my tummy,
Your hiccups inside made me laugh crazily.
Long after you've said your farewell, don't forget how much you matter to me.
Because I've forgotten everything but the perfect you, one arriving two weeks late,
and the other two weeks early.
I won't forget,
the joy I've had,
not once, but twice in this lifetime -- lucky me.

(Dedicated to my lovely girls)

Where Are My Biwas?

In June 2011, coming home from Tokyo, I had brought with me half a dozen Biwa fruits. They were so delicious that I wanted to share them with Kayrin and SF.
They weren't keen so I ate them. The seeds, I figured, could be germinated.
They did sprout in a pot in the old house and I was planning to move them to bigger space.
Sadly, they never came along when we moved home in February.
Awake at 1:07 a.m., with a sweet little girl asleep in my arms and a thunderstorm brewing outside, I longed for Biwa, the sweet, juicy orange-coloured fruits that remind me of early summer in Tokyo, when the rains made it too cold to walk to Bic Camera from Marunouchi.

I Bake

Make me climb the roof to fix an antenna, make me clean a car engine, make me polish my VW, and I wouldn't protest too much.
Make me stitch, or cook, and I want to cry.
But hey, I baked my first loaf of bread today. I baked my first anything, to confess.
It's all with the help of the Noxxa oven and plenty of advice from good friend Jacqie.

Potty-Trained

We have two such little potties at home, from Kayrin's days of being a baby in Singapore.
That little girl was potty-trained by grandma at two-weeks old.
Now, we've managed to train Karen. At a month old she'd pee when put to the potty even though her behind's not big enough to fill the rim. Amazing little girls.

Movies I'd Watch Again, and Again

Some movies stay with you forever. Here's my list of some of them, not in any order of preference. They've hit a nerve. They have scenes you never forget. They make you thank God for your idyllic, uneventful life.
(This is a post that will be in progress a long while)

- The Shawshank Redemption (1994; director Frank Darabont; Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman)
- Life Is Beautiful (1997; Roberto Benigni)
- The Green Mile (1999; director Frank Darabont; Tom Hanks)
- Gladiator
- The Sixth Sense (1999, M. Night Shyamalan)
- The Hurt Locker (1999; Katherine Bigelow)
Tell me what movies you play back in your mind from time to time.

(First published 24 Sept. 2012)

Note from Aug. 10, 2018:

A new movie I'd like to add to the list:
- The Post (2017, Steven Spielberg). watched it on the flight home from Washington DC to Dubai.

Kayrin's Little Sister

On Aug. 10, Kayrin's little sister popped into our world. We'd wanted a sibling for her and this tiny thing is a surprise when we knew of her conception. Arriving at 2.76 kg and 45.5 cm in length, she's a whole kati lighter than her elder sister.
We thank God for bringing her into our lives.
Little Karen's arrival also connected us with a bunch of friends again, from childhood friends we haven't seen for years such as cute Iwan's parents to my former lecturer and his wonderful wife whom we adore.
Such is the happiness of a baby at home. Family and friends sharing in our joy.

Transitioning Into 2012

Life goes on even if one doesn't blog. Time flies and on some days, time crawls by. In the past six months or more that I haven't come to this site, Kayrin has had to have a colonoscopy, I've changed jobs, moved house and crazily, conceived.
Who'd thought I'd be helping expand the family. Last year must have been the time I gave up hope. I returned a good friend's bag of maternity clothes, gave away Kayrin's baby toys, books, stroller. Some of that happened in 2010. Guess it was a case of fading hope.
Then, we went on holiday. Nowhere too far. Just to Singapore. A relaxed mind allows for babies to be made, so I'm told many times over by now. How wonderful that Kayrin will now have a sibling. For that, I bow my head and thank God.