YouTubing

The things we get on the Internet are amazing. Now we know who's friends of who, who's travelled the world, who's playing what games. You may like Facebook, others vote for Blogger, or Google. What's the one thing on the Web that make you say: Thank goodness someone invented that? Tell me! I say today that I'm simply happy to have..ta-dah..YouTube!
I go there and find videos of songs, listen to them about a dozen times, and if I like what's on offer, then go in search of the CD. That means asking Shaw Feng to get them for me.
It's wonderful what I've discovered. There's R.E.M.'s At My Most Beautiful. Sure to put some warmth in the cockles of your heart when you see the video.

On another note, this is being recorded for propensity, of course..
Shaw Feng, who when leaving a hotel room to check out, will scan the room thoroughly, flap the duvet, peer into the safe-deposit box, this time walked out of his Hanoi hotel room with his notebook left on the writing table! So untypical of him. Guess a month of working on a bid non-stop is taking its toll on him. Poor fella. Thank goodness he's back for some TLC now. The usual nagging from me at home and the normal dinner-time rows with Kayrin ;)

And Kayrin, this morning, upon seeing me cuddle up to Shaw Feng in bed before I go through my motions of getting ready for work (on a Sunday, ugh), started to protest. Then she caught herself.
"Oh, OK, you can make baby."

Too Busy for Mommy

I called the 5-year-old at noon to see how school was and she said:
``Stop, mommy, stop. I can't talk now. Call me back after my nap.''

I Can't Spell

Shaw Feng sent along this test. All the way from Hanoi. Try it, he said. A spelling test? Me, an editor being tested on something so trivial? Ha, I'll ace it. Or so I thought Turned out to be a humbling experience. I only mustered a 68 percent score! Go ahead, try it. Don't pause too long on each question. Good luck.

Assignment

My latest assignment from the psychologist. Write 20 sentences a day, starting with "I am." So here's part of my list for the first day..
1) I'm anal retentive
2)I'm not friendly to strangers
3) I'm very afraid of getting a terminal disease
4) I'm trying very hard to stay healthy
5) I'm worrying too much about money
6) I hate traffic snarls on the way to work and on the way home
7) I love coming to work and knowing I'm in control
8) I love having my own space, my own PC at work
9) I love yakking away with Shaw Feng on the phone
10) I love the hugs and kisses my daughter gives me every night.
11)

The Radio

Daddy: Kayrin, please switch on the radio?
Kayrin: (breaking into a song) C is for cookie.. Cookie, cookie, cookie..
Daddy: The radio. please?
Kayrin: Bzzzzz, gerrrrr, bsssssss..(radio static)

Drama Queen Conversation: Part II

Kayrin: What's that? (pointing to a bottle sitting on the sink)
Me: That's daddy's face wash
Kayrin: Ohhh..hhh..that reminds me of him. I miss him so much (and turn to crawl into her bed).

The Drama Queen

Shaw Feng's in Hanoi for a month or so, starting March 26. And about three days after he's gone, Kayrin sat moping on her bed.
"My heart broke, because I miss daddy so much."

Michael Franti -- One Step Closer to You

This acoustic version is beautiful. Take a listen. Discovered it while going through the Yoga Journal, a terrific site for yoga poses.
I've been down for far too long
Till my faith was nearly gone
I never knew somebody just like you
Could be a friend i could call my own

Till i let go of a broken heart
I let go to an open heart
I let go of my broken dreams
I let go to the mystery
And i believe in the miracles
I believe in the spiritual
I believe in the one above
I believe in the one i love

& take one step closer to you
I just take one step closer to you
Even when i've fallen down
My heart says follow through
I take one step closer to you

I never meant to hurt you, no
And you never meant to hurt me to
But it seems like you always do
And even though i'm scared sometimes
If ever see you fallen down
I will be the one that's there for you

So i let go of a broken heart
I let go to an open heart
[One Step Closer To You lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I let go of my broken dreams
I let go to the mystery
And i believe in the miracles
I believe in the spiritual
I believe in the one above
I believe in the one i love
& take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you
Even when i've fallen down
My heart says follow through
I take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you
I just take one step closer to you

I keep on walking to you, i'm walking
I keep on walking to you, i'm walking
I keep on walking to you, i'm walking
And i'm never going to stop

Even when i've fallen down
My heart says follow through
I'll take one step closer
I'll take two steps closer

Just take one step closer to you
I just take one step closer to you

Penangites Rock!

Penang has terrific food. There's the delicious, juicy "or-chien" (oyster in omelette) from New World Park, ordered as soon as we got off the plane on March 8.
This island also has some old shops that transport you back to the 70's if you just stand there and stare at it.


And of course, there are the wonderful Penang friends. Heng Hou said we should get up there more often. He's right. We'll make time to be there for weekend visits. Making time is what we can do and we'll do that.


But the best has to be Penangites. They turned up at polling stations on March 8 and booted Barisan Nasional out of the island! I take my hat off to you, Penangites.

Go, Malaysians, Go

What an astounding message for the ruling coalition: We don't want your style of rule!
This, I dedicate to you. Go, Malaysians, go.

We want you to know
That we saw through your show
You failed to heed
Our pleas, our needs
So we sent you a message
Your cover we will blow

Gone are the days
When you could take it slow
Treated us as reeds
Ignored protests in the streets
And you sure are no sage
To have been blind to all that's on show.

No corruption, more security please
And our family's safety we don't kid
Our deeds
Will be recorded for all to read.

Indelible Ink Not

We Malaysians are a lucky lot. We can change our minds any time. And so it was with the Elections Commission. Those people there, being Malaysians, backpedaled on a long-thought-out decision to mark our pretty fingers with ink on polling day. All of four days before the big day too, and after spending 2.4 million ringgit on the ink imported from India. If it costs 40,000 ringgit (based on my very-smart spouse's estimate) to build a low-cost home, that's homes for 60 poor families.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Kayrin was brought by her paternal grandmother to a TCM physician for the first time yesterday, to see if there's a better treatment for her cough apart from taking steroid-laced puffs. Here's the little girl's account of what happened. All related over the phone to me.
"I went to see the Chinese doctor today. He's very old. He didn't give me a jab. He didn't poke my bum-bum (read: no suppository was inserted!). He's really old."
And what did he do?
"He took my hand and put it on a cloth."

When I Wear

the IWC Pilot watch,
I don't stick my left hand to rummage in my bag;
I don't wash my hands (in order to preserve the crocodile strap);
I can't stick my hand under the desk
And in the train
I hold it very close to my chest!
If only I could keep the beauty at home
But oh no, it needs to stay on my wrist
Just so it continues to tick.

Return on Investments

I gave a watch to Shaw Feng and less than a week later, I got one in return. That's amazing. It does make me feel a bit guilty that he's had to blow a paycheck on one. Thank you, Sweetheart, and you really shouldn't have.
I am feeling simply very happy I managed to find the one watch you wanted so much. Well, if these things boomerang back to me, I should show more of my love then! Wouldn't it be great what I'd get back? ;)

Objects of Desire

Kayrin's in the throes of her first infatuation.
"I'm going to love Seng Hong forever and ever," she said two evenings ago. "I'm going to marry him. I'm going to have his baby."
To that, Shaw Feng had this to say, "CHOI!"
It's pretty hilarious. But for now, Daddy and I are keeping straight faces and advising Kayrin not to commit herself too early and to please bring him home to meet us.
And as for Shaw Feng, his object of desire is not live. Not cheap, too. Here it is:

Very nice, I must say. But oh-so-out-of-reach! Can't locate a single unit anywhere among the retailers of "fine watches" in Kuala Lumpur

From the Pits to Ecstasy

This week started out fairly usual. Monday, a day to troop off to work, mentally psyching myself for the first five-day week in weeks as I drive through heavy traffic. Too many holidays peppered across the first quarter of this year does get one down!
By Tuesday, I was quite ill. The cough that started with a sore throat on Dec. 31 hasn't gone away but on Feb. 12, it was back with a vengeance. Looking back, it must have been a stressed-out me that made me just keep goading Shaw Feng about his Facebook life, something I only found out last week. By Tuesday morning, he was not a happy camper. Neither was I. The cough made me irritable and the more agitated I was, the more I went for a fight.
A big row I got all right. Heart thumping, fingers tensed, jaw clenched, I was a real pain. Shaw Feng wasn't far off when he called me mad. This is only what I'd admit on hindsight. I was so self-centred that I didn't apologise for subjecting him to what I deem a necessity. I was so obsessed in finding the causes of our miscarriage, of staying healthy, that I only got myself into a downward spiral. And so I hurt him for months. My apology is here, Sweetie. I'm ashamed of myself.
I was relieved when we managed to at least come face-to-face to agree on being in a row. Next stop, after making my way to Cyberjaya to do that, I went off the the doctor's.
This was where it really hit me. After taking the prescribed medication (a cocktail of steroids and antibiotic), I drove away and within minutes was wondering what it'd be like to just careen off the railings while taking a sharp corner. It wasn't a thought that says: I want to kill myself.
It was simply, what if just twist the steering wheel to the right while taking a corner to the left.
I was more than a little shell-shocked. Driving into a housing area, I parked the car by the road side and called Shaw Feng. Just what he needed! After a whole morning of dealing with a stalker of a wife, he's now hearing me say I'm depressed. I felt like I was not in my own body. Telling me to go shopping and my replying that I couldn't must have driven home the point to him that I was not myself. Look, I'm a sworn shopaholic! I shop when I'm down, I shop when I'm overworked, stressed and I splurge when I'm happy.
That poor husband of mine had to spend more than an hour speaking to me over the phone after losing sleep the night before, dealing with my numerous calls in the morning. He deserves better. Actually, no, sweetie. You have enough on your hands with me than to look around, don't you? ;)
The happy part, I must report, was that I became more ill. I get to be home then. It was time spent talking more to my spouse, listening to him when he speaks. Hugs for Kayrin also worked wonders in mending my relationships.
With a minimum of 10 hours at work a day (more often than not, its 11 hours), and two hours of commute, I'm left with little to bring home to Shaw Feng and Kayrin. That means, coming home to them and reminding him to file his letters, pay the bills (hey, I have my share too), supervise the maid, entertain baby and inspect her homework (another big source of stress for me when the year started). And for her, I was anything but a playmate. Snapping turtle of a mom was more like it.
Yak, yak, yak (Shaw Feng reads 'nag, nag, nag').
Withe being ill, I mentally tried to slow down. Holding back my retorts when Shaw Feng speaks means I actually found that the man does have great ideas and solutions! I pride myself on being very independent but that doesn't mean I always have to be the one on top! What a relevation.
And we even spent a whole day with each other: Breakfast at a hole-in-the-wall kind of coffee shop, tea/coffee at Starbucks (knowing how cheap I am, that's a pretty rare occurrence), shopping for a very expensive timepiece (which we haven't gotten our hands on), catching a movie, enjoying lunch and best of all, holding hands and not taking a single call on the phones. Wow. What a way to celebrate our 20th Valentine's Day.
What's more, the nights were more fun too, with, ermmm, lots more activity. Oh, we're just an *old* married couple. Familiarity can lead to some extended excitement! I'd better stop here before this gets rated.
This is a reminder and a wake-up call to me, at the end of the day. Channelling too much of myself to my job (which I love to bits, I must say) can only kill me by hurting the very ones I thought I'm working so hard for: Shaw Feng and Kayrin.
There will be days when the shadow is all we see. But if there weren't any cast around, how are we to see how beautiful sunlight is.

Xin Nian Quai Le

Wishing most people much happiness and good health this year of the rat. Well, I do have a few people I wouldn't convey nice greetings upon ;)
The lunar new year started off well enough, with Shaw Feng and I staying loving during the first four days. And then today, it went a little awry. I offended my other half. All just days before Valentine's Day arrives too, as he had reminded me yesterday evening.
It all started during a CNY gathering, at a friend's place. Lo and behold, I found out that my spouse is an avid Facebooker. What? I was a little sad. There's a secret life that he has that I know not about. Haven't I pledged to keep abreast of his interest? What the heck happened? Was I too engrossed with my daughter's kindergarten homework? Am I too old to know what's going on in this real world? Better stop reading those car magazines! Gotta learn up Wordpress, Photoshop or find out what Mark Zuckerberg is up to. Larry Page's romance is passe, no? Or may be I'll have to read Valleywag everyday on top of The Electric New Paper. May be I'm just paranoid, like I always am. But I sure didn't like being left out. I may not be the hippiest and most happening around but I've got to be in the know. A busybody, no doubt.

Kayrin's 5

The little girl turned 5 on Feb. 4 and that day being a school day, Shaw Feng and I dropped her off at school and then went for breakfast on our own to celebrate. Yes, eating by ourselves, having no kid to interrupt every sentence is a rare occassion. Then, we trooped to kindy with the birthday cake. A novel way for me to celebrate. In the past, she's had one party (when she turned four) and three other `celebrations' at home (read: no party cos mommy's lazy).
I like this kindy party. Nothing for me to clean up. There's some preparation. But nothing Shaw Feng and I can't deal with. He printed invites to the party, and we then put together party packs (a box of raisins, a pack of ribena drink, some biscuits, a bar of kit-kat and a yo-yo). Turned out quite fun.
As all mothers do, I got a bit melancholic but not too much, remembering the day she popped out into this world and staring into the strange face of someone I know I'd love, someone I felt I've known for months, yet am only starting to get to find out all about her. Someone so very amazing because she knows how to suckle without being taught. Happy 5th Birthday, mommy's darling Kayrin!

Kindy, Stress, Illness

Kindy was a stressful start to the year. Stressful for me! No surprise for anyone reading this really but thank God, Kayrin now loves kindy..or Tadika Prima Ceria, to be exact. Gosh. What a relief. What happiness. For me. Sleep come easy. I can taste food again.
And that stress prior to that must have been my downfall. I came down with my twice-a-year upper respiratory tract infection. In simpler words, a sore throat that turned into incessant cough that turned into hacking cough and chest pain that keep me awake and made me more ill than ever.
The silver lining was the weight loss. I didn't weigh myself. But I got back into my B70 brassieres instead of hunting around for B75 or C70 ones. That's how I know I've lost a kilo or two.

Flu and Baby

Have left this site untouched for a while because, I've been busy. Mmm, busy trying to make baby! I've been dreading this bonking schedule that comes with my taking the first round (and I pray my only round) of Clomid (clomisphene citrate), afraid that it'd get too tedious for both SF and I. But surprisingly, we've been having fun! I have been anxious but there you go, something to look forward to every alternate day, as ordered by the doctors. Muahahaha.
And the flu bit. Yea, I caught Kayrin's flu. So I've been down with a bad throat and we've had to cancel our planned trip to Penang. Poor SF had to be brewing soup and steaming fish to feed Kayrin and I while we coughed our lungs out. And that's right after his working trip home from Jakarta. Prior to his travelling, I had warned and warned him not to fall ill. And guess who did.