Transitioning Into 2012

Life goes on even if one doesn't blog. Time flies and on some days, time crawls by. In the past six months or more that I haven't come to this site, Kayrin has had to have a colonoscopy, I've changed jobs, moved house and crazily, conceived.
Who'd thought I'd be helping expand the family. Last year must have been the time I gave up hope. I returned a good friend's bag of maternity clothes, gave away Kayrin's baby toys, books, stroller. Some of that happened in 2010. Guess it was a case of fading hope.
Then, we went on holiday. Nowhere too far. Just to Singapore. A relaxed mind allows for babies to be made, so I'm told many times over by now. How wonderful that Kayrin will now have a sibling. For that, I bow my head and thank God.

Bonus Day

Another year wraps up soon and 2012 will be with us in two days or so. This morning, while speaking to the little girl over the phone, I drew her attention to the coming year, which is going to be special.
"Do you know what happens in a leap year?" I asked.
"Yes, there's one less day in February," she replied.
"Actually, it's one extra day," I said.
"Oh no, one more day at school!" she said.

Petronas Towers at 7 a.m.

Petronas Towers at 7 a.m.
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

It's a working weekend for me, and that's two full days on Saturday and Sunday. Pretty tiring, considering I've had five full days prior to them. With tomorrow a Monday, that will be a stretch of eight full work days. The thought of that is enough to cause me to wilt. But there are highlights to working weekends. A lack of traffic driving into the Kuala Lumpur city centre is a big factor. Another is a very-empty gym.
This weekend, being car-less as we sell the little Merc A-class and awaits the arrival of the Golf, SF had to do the chauffeuring. This is our very rare chance to chat. A 20-minute conversation between two adults, and what do we talk about? People and their nice, beautiful cars.
Dropped off outside the building, I caught this gorgeous view of the majestic tower. This phrase from American Top 40's Casey Kasem comes to mind: Reach for the stars but keep your feet on the ground.
May we all reach for the skies!

A Great Musician

In the mid 1990s, after migrating to KL, I had the opportunity to watch this talented chap perform at a pub. It was somewhere in Damansara. Those were the days when I was a poor journalist. Amir Yussof's brand of acoustic rock music was great, resonating with me. And so I set out to lay my hands on his album.
His Some of This Is Real CD proved impossible to track down. For many years, I searched for it, enlisting the help of my then-boyfriend. SF and I hunted high and low prior to the days of music downloads. It was an elusive ``search for the Little Bird,'' as SF calls it.
SF and I married, moved away to Singapore, had the little one. The search was put on the backburner, but Amir's music wasn't forgotten. After we returned to KL, the family became regulars at the Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra, and for the 2010/2011 season, who to turn up on its program but the man himself.
Amir's performance on Feb. 21 was truly enjoyable. Amazingly beautiful songs written by him too. And he'd brought two of its three albums with him. I got hold of Some of This Is Real and Aquarius. There is culmination to a one-and-a-half decade search for them. Still missing is his second album, Altered Native.
Now I've found Amir a new fan. Nature's Gift is Kayrin's favourite.

2011

I didn't write anything to mark the end of 2010. This can only mean that it wasn't too dramatic a year. No drama is good. I'm no longer a sprightly 25-year-old and with being older, comes the joy of enjoying uneventful days, peaceful months and quiet, serene years.
Kayrin completed her first year in school, scoring fourth position in class. I'm happy for her but being a mom, I somehow think she could do better. Oops, a tiger-mom inside me.
We had very great holidays during the year, from making our way to Bangkok for the Lunar New Year to Taman Negara in June and Pulau Lang Tengah at the end of August, and short ones to Port Dickson, Taiping, before ending the year with a visit to very good friends in Singapore and culminating with the very beautiful Kota Kinabalu.
Grandma passed away on Aug. 31. She was remembered as being quite bitter that she was dealt a difficult hand in life. But I also recall her being one to remember that I love her yam fried rice, and she'd call me when she cooked that. Bless her soul. I do have lessons to take away from her life. Let go and learn to live.
This is also the year I re-learned scuba-diving, and I'm able to do it only because SF has been encouraging me to keep my license alive. He's had to mind Kayrin the times I decide to scare myself silly going into the sea.
All in, a rather fun year. And now, almost a quarter of 2011 has flown by. Kayrin's had her first exams of the year, caught two bouts of cold and started learning ballet (something she begged for). She simply loves her pink leotards, pink little skirt and all. Wait till those ballet shoes arrive ;)

Christmas

Me: It's Christmas tomorrow. Have you been good all year?
Kayrin: Not really...but MOSTLY! I'm naughty but nice.

For this Christmas, I'm getting Kayrin a Lego set. Another one to add to her dozens of Lego assemblies. I'm amazed that she hasn't gotten tired of Lego after years of playing with them. SF is also feeding that addiction by supplying her all sorts of things that can be assembled with those little coloured bricks. He's probably reliving his childhood days.
As for SF, he's getting something `very useful' this year. I bought myself a present too and I can't wait to get started on it. Canvas and acrylic paint. I'm going to start painting. Let's see what the painting will turn out to be.

Changi

Changi
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

For the year-end school holidays of 2010, we made our way down south to Singapore for the company's annual gathering, staying at the Fullerton, and then moving to Kayrin's godparents' place. It was great fun catching up with that very kind and generous couple. They are so loving that it's an inspiration to me. Not the cloying kind of love but just a lot of adoration n respect for each other. We also caught up with another family, good friends stationed in the Middle East, on our trip to Universal Studios. The theme park seems fun but with Kayrin still not daring enough to take the rides, and the heat overpowering and the rain just too drenching, we didn't do very much except wander around in good company. Kayrin and the S-boys had lots of fun together and she simply enjoyed having them to play with.
After four days there, we flew on to Kota Kinabalu on Dec. 1. Hyatt Regency was very convenient a location as it was downtown, just a 10 ringgit tax ride away to the best seafood we've had -- at Sedco complex. Next to the hotel are the travel agents that provide tours to the Tunku Abdul Rahman marine park and to the beautiful Kinabalu Park. SF likes the park for being left very much in its original state. Poring Hot Springs was adventurous enough for us, with Kayrin braving the drizzle to hike up to the canopy walk and taking on the canopy without any fuss.
Kundasang seems promising too though we didn't stop there. The place is the Cameron Highlands of Sabah.
SF also minded Kayrin, taking her snorkelling while I get to make two dives at the marine park.
Headed home on Dec. 4, Wei, Lyan, Patrick, Khoon Eng, SF and I then proceeded to take ma to Port Dickson on Dec. 6. Avillion Admiral Cove is still nice on a second visit but I'd definitely avoid the Vista Wing in future. Much too dark for Kayrin's liking!
By the time we were done with our trips, I was getting disorientated with where I was when waking in the middle of the night. And poor old SF had to have chiropractic treatment from all that walking.
*This pix was of Kayrin at Changi's Terminal 3 en route to Kota Kinabalu from Singapore.

KLCC

KLCC
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Somehow, the photos I took that have grabbed people's attention are those snapped on my iPhone. Not to say that the phone has a great camera, but when I spot something, pictures should just be taken right away. They make some of the most amazing ones in my collection, Here's one taken above the lobby of the Petronas Twin Towers, when SF, Kayrin and I attended a Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra performance in the season ended June 2010.
The chandeliers that were lit made the swirls on the floor even more amazing. And the two figures there just added a new dimension to the picture.

Raya Open Houses

Raya Open Houses
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin's arm being beautifully painted by a very talented artiste at Aireen Hana's birthday party and Raya open house. After years of being uninvited, this year, we went to two Raya open houses in one day! Aireen's was big and beautiful, while Jacq's was warm and cosy, with lots of laughs discovered along the way.

Hari Raya

Hari Raya
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

The Sept. 10-11 Hari Raya break saw us making our way to Port Dickson for a short break, this time via Lukut to eat the massive chicken-curry-within-a-bun. Three other families -- the Tans, Wongs and Liews -- made for an entourage of eight kids and eight adults.

Port Dickson

Port Dickson
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

At Port Dickson, we stayed at the Avillion Admiral Cove. While the resort is without a beach that we can wade into, the pool was wonderful for the kids. The studio room, or is it apartment?, was new, with a large king-sized bed and a day bed big enough for SF. Yes, the poor fella who's been paying for our holidays never get to go on the main bed. Kayrin hogs her side of the bed and I get the other half. After PD (yes, we shorten all our places to acronyms in Malaysia: KL, KB, KK, JB), it was a very long drive home: We detoured to the boondocks of Banting, for one of the two famous beggar chicken dishes. The highlight there turned out to be pig maw pepper soup. Lashings of pepper corn made it a very tummy-warming slurp all the way through.

Lang Tengah

Lang Tengah
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Together with the Wong and Tan families, we made our way to Pulau Lang Tengah off the coast of Terengganu on Malaysia's eastern shores. The amazing blue sea I've only eyed on television is here. Deep blue waters, clear blue skies, a rustic resort and great company made for one of our best holidays ever!
Kayrin made new friends, with Ee Llynn and Yu Shen, and Ee Theng and Yu How, and had a frolicking good time splashing in the pool. SF was relaxed, the food was decent and the beach and restaurant were right at our doorstep.
Perhaps what marred the trip a little was the water-supply disruption, reminding me of our Taman Negara trip. Then again, what can we expect when this is a little island far, far away from the maddening crowd.
My biggest achievement this trip was donning the mask, doing a refresher course that allowed me to finally clear the mask of flooded water convincingly and making my first Scuba dive in more than eight years! First shore dive too. And a `personal' divemaster to boot.

Clouds Over Nilai

clouds over Nilai
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

It's been four years since Woan left us. We went to Nilai to place flowers for her on July 4, remembering the love she spread when she was around. I guess the clouds over our hearts won't ever leave since she passed on, but at least we know that beyond the clouds, far away above, she's in a better place.
This cloud formation was what we saw while driving on the Kajang-Seremban expressway back to KL.

Turning 40

Big stars like Ringo Starr get interviewed for their birthdays. I'm so often on the other end, asking the questions and grilling others. So, I'm putting the questions to myself and pondering the answers:

What does it mean to you to reach the big four-zero?
I used to think like most people do, that "no, I don't want to age another year" but this year, while thinking about my late sister Woan, it dawned on me I should be very thankful for being given the chance to celebrate this milestone. My sister didn't even make it to her 34th birthday. I'm very blessed to be here.

What are your achievements these past four decades?
Having my daughter, breastfeeding her fully for 13 months. That of course, came with loads of help from the person who contributed to making her, my husband Shaw Feng. I'm still torn, since the day Kayrin was born seven years ago, that I'm not doing enough for her, not dedicating enough of my time to her.

What do you hope to accomplish in the next forty years?
I'm not thinking that far, not that presumptuous. But I know what I want to do. I want to promote conservation. Of natural resources, our heritage -- everything from old buildings to memoribilias. Looking back, I've always wanted to be someone very involved in environmental issues. When I was 24, and just out in the working world, I wrote on environmental issues. Perhaps, I will return to my roots someday. In the meantime, I'm trying to make compost in my own little patch of a garden, and trying to see if earthworms will survive alongside me.

You've often admitted to being bossy but get irked when others don't take the lead. What does this mean for your family?

(to be continued)

Four Years On

It's been four years since we last talked to you face to face, Woan. Time seems to fly sometimes, in that it's been such a long time since you were gone. But it still feels like yesterday when we think of you. Guess that means you aren't far from our hearts. We miss you a lot. I take comfort in that you're now in a better place and we'll see you again someday. Ivan has grown a lot, and that, I'm sure, makes you very proud to see. Happy anniversary in heaven, Woan!

Celebrating 10 at Taman Negara

Taman Negara
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

We finally made it to Taman Negara. I've always wanted to go since missing the chance in 1994, right after finishing university. Now that Kayrin's all of seven, and gets around without a stroller, we found ourselves there during the drought in this 130 million-year-old rainforest. Kayrin managed to trek along in the jungle, walked on the tree-top canopy walkway that's 40 meters above ground, and eat in the Malay-food-only hotel cafe.
Three days and two nights was fun, the adventure being the water rationing at the Rainforest Resort, but they were kind enough to cut the daily rate by 50 ringgit to just about 150 ringgit a night. With just a three-hour drive, if we had gotten our route correctly, Taman Negara sure is worth another visit. May be on our 20th wedding anniversary, on June 17?

Charitable

Kayrin was on the phone with me two days ago. This came from her lips:
"Why did you marry him, mommy?"
My reply: "Ya, hmmmmppph.." was countered with "Let's donate him away."

Destructive

I had an awful weekend. Visiting the bed-ridden grandmother started a chain of events that turned me into a monster. Grandma had an awful bedsore and I made the decision to get her into a hospital. That led to a whole night spent in the hospital A&E. All Saturday night. By the time I got home past midnight, I had snapped at my mom, SF and the little one at home, cleaned a sore bigger than my hand, helped a nurse insert a urine tube, listened to a lady wretch her guts out in the next bed, saw a man being prodded and smelled rotting flesh.
On Sunday morning, my one attempt at being civil got a rather unfriendly answer from SF, and there it went -- I flipped.
The quarrel lasted into the day and SF, the destructive one at home, got a taste of what it's like to see things destroyed. I broke his thermometer. The sad part is, I've been very destructive of late, breaking the little girl's pencil, throwing her books away and now, onto SF's possession.
This is quite scary. Frightening to me because I wanted to show my anger. I can't hold it in. Therapy must come from within me. Learning to tell myself what NOT to do before I do it isn't so easy. May be I should meditate.
I'm also a bossy person and many times, people don't want to be dictated to. SF included. If I learn to just do it on my own, perhaps I'll anger fewer people. I'll try to Nike more often then.

Kuaci

Kuaci, our little hamster, died overnight after more than two years with us. She came to us from our neighbour in February 2008, and we estimated that she was then half a year old. That means she died at the age of 2 3/4 years old. That's 137.5 human years, based on Dr. Agas' words that one hamster year equals 50 human ones. Goodbye, Kuaci. You've amused us, bit our fingers and kept Kayrin happy. May you make others happy in heaven.

Casio

Casio
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

I had my first watch when I was about nine. Pa bought me the metal-strapped, gold-faced watch from Island Emporium in Penang. I'd have to wind it before wearing it everyday. It came in a little red PVC pouch. Since then, I've moved on to Orient during my university days, to Swatch after SF bought me my Scuba colourful one. Then, there's the Tag Heuer SF got for our wedding. And the IWC Schaffhausen SF got me in 2008. Goes to show I haven't bought one for myself in ages. This list just goes to show who shops for watches for the family, doesn't it?

But over the weekend, I got a Casio. For all of 35 ringgit. And it feels easy wearing this. I don't hesitate when I plunge my hand into the handbag. Not that I don't appreciate watches SF bought me. It's just exactly that. They are special to me. So special that it's always with trepidation when I wear them out the first few months. I don't want them scratched on the surface, don't want them wet when I wash my hands for the zillionth time.

This first watch I bought myself in years, well, it's OK if I scratch the plastics a bit ;) Best of all, with the onset of presbyopia, the print is B-I-G enough to see!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Customer service is something I shudder to deal with. They are mostly bad. Mostly difficult to deal with. But there are gems too. Here's a list of what I can recall enduring, scaring, threatening:

Let's start with 'The Ugly':
1) Oakley's Malaysia distributor, Revelstoke
My, weren't they a pain. SF's Oakley glasses (his sixth pair? ninth?) broke while we were in Penang and when we sought a replacement part, was told that wasn't available anymore. No further explanation. Probed further, we figure it's because that frame wasn't the best they made, hence it was discontinued. Revelstoke would only go as far as giving us a 200 ringgit credit for a new pair of frame. That was an almost new pair, may be about a year old. Why should I fork out more than 800 ringgit to get a 1,000 ringgit Oakley frame and still pay for prescription lenses? That got me furious. It was a battle threatened with complaints to the Consumer Claims Tribunal.
Revelstoke relented in the end, and gave SF a new frame onto which he could still attach his existing Rx glasses.

2) Ipa-nima's Malaysian distributor, CarmenZ
I bought a leather handbag from them, the second in my Ipa-nima collection, for a little less than 1,000 ringgit, and discovered the silk inner lining was frayed along the stitching. I called CarmenZ's Hazel, and was told I should just get it fixed on my own. This is a brand new bag, and I'm not even asking for a replacement, just for a fixing. I called the Consumer Claims Tribunal and was told I have a case against them if I choose to file an official complaint.
I chose to write to Ipa-nima's founder, Christina Yu, in Hanoi and she was simply helpful, arranging for me to send my bag to CarmenZ for fixes. Bag came back good as new.
I've, of course, sworn off CarmenZ but the lure of Ipa-nima bags made me go back for more. I don't know why I bother. After all, SF was basically living every weekday in Hanoi at one point. Ipa-nima bags are one of a kind and I have five in my collection now! The first a gift from SF, and the rest my gifts to myself ;)

The Bad
1) Car Distributor
Actually, this isn't so bad. It could even go under "good." The experience started right after I took delivery of the car. A dent on the door made me curse the sales manager for dismissing my complaint with the excuse that my car's fully imported, hence the company can't do much for me. He trapped himself with that reasoning. I had my dent sprayed on his account.
There was also the air recirculator problem. First Mercedes Benz Malaysia (or Daimler then) refused to entertain my requests for a re-programming. Did I write to Stuttgart, Germany? May be I did. Or may be I threatened. It was re-programmed, in a hurry too, and after the work was done, I was told I owed them 150 ringgit or so for inspecting the electronic connections. Not being told of this costs earlier, I told them they can hold my car ransom.
More came when the car central locking failed, after three years and a bit of owning the car. Pretty shocking. But CCB's great service advisor pulled me through this, when from a 50% liability absorption, Mercedes Benz Malaysia went on to take up the full costs.

The Good
1) For something totally inexpensive, this comes as one of the best, if not the best! I own Cocoons' OveRx sunglasses since 2006, and the case was frayed from the inside since I had it. Never bothered me till lately, when the bag won't shut. I wrote to Cocoons in the U.S. No response for days. Then an e-mail arrived. No trouble, I was told..just go to the place I bought it from and get a replacement. Easy as that. Wow! Hats off to Cocoons for great customer service.

Dhall Curry

Dhall Curry
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

I love dhall curry and finally made the effort to cook my first bowl. More like a pot, actually. Here's the recipe. Simple, but a bit time-consuming.
Ingredients:
Dhall, tumeric powder, garlic, jintan manis
Fish curry powder, biji sawi, lots of fresh curry leaves, dried chilli, shallots, salt to taste.
Potato, tomato, carrots
Method:
Boil dhall, add potato, tumeric powder, jintan manis.
In a wok, fry biji sawi with minced shallots, curry leaves and some fish curry powder. I added some anchovies.
Pour mixture from wok into pot of boiling dhall.
Towards the end, add tomato and carrots.

Recipe courtesy of Rahimah. Really yummy. I've frozen two containers for my office lunch.

Earthworms Galore

Earthworms
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

On Sunday morning, right after a night of rain, Kayrin, Shaw Feng and I made our way to the playground. Instead of playing badminton, we ended up collecting earthworms that flooded the basketball court. The sight of the worms made me very happy. When was the last time we've seen so many of them. So I turned into a worm-transporting aunty and hauled the lot of them back home into our garden. I hope they like their new home as much as I like them in our compound! I've been thinking of breeding earthworms and this is such a pleasant find.

Drained

Things aren't so smooth for Kayrin at school after all. After a good first week, it has degenerated into a nightmarish second and third week, with tantrums that led to her being spanked by daddy and me. May be being absent for two days, when she had a cold and cough, triggered it. She then became weepy over the thought of going to school. She'd go to bed crying, wake up weeping, return home unhappy. She'd tell the maid she doesn't want to go to school. I daren't even ask that of my parents, that I didn't want to go to school, if it was OK by them.
What have I done wrong in her upbringing? SF, time and again, reminded me that I'm responsible for any wayward behaviour down the road because I am too lax with her now. But she's now so very adamant about having her own way, so what have I done wrong in the past? Left the MIL to manage her? I've taken to driving her to school for a week now. The crying has lessened but hasn't stopped. That and the battling of traffic to get to work before a daily morning conference call and the mad hustle to get home to bathe and feed her has totally drained me. I feel a failure of a parent. I dare not push her at school now but I have no compassion for a wimp. I can't stand clingy behaviour. But that's my child. I'm plain exhausted. I know not what to do with her, for her.

Sedaya

Sedaya
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Exactly a month to being 7 and Kayrin started her first day at Sri Sedaya school. Jan. 4 started well: She awoke at about 5 a.m., insisted on having her milk from a cup (instead of the bottle), showered, dressed up in her uniform of a blouse, a skirt and a tie without kicking up a fuss, and gamely waited for the school van in the pouring rain. Van arrived at 6:45 a.m. and she got off in the school compound at 7: 20 a.m.
I accompanied her the entire day, where she ate her snack and her lunch along with the 50 odd kids from Primary 1. Didn't see any kid bawling his or her eyes out on the first day. Pretty amazing. Unlike the days of old, when kids would go running out of class to mommy or daddy outside the class.
Instead, I spent the entire school day, till 3:30 p.m. hanging around in the school compound and intermittently peeping into her classroom.
It's been a big relief for me, to see her adjusting well, on her way to greater independence. Not having her grandma with her full time means Kayrin doesn't have grandma pandering to her every whim and fancy but so far she's coped, making new friends along the way as she and her kindy friend Jia Ler keep each other company.

Happy New Year

Another year wraps up. I took a tumble early on New Year's eve. Didn't need to raise my glass to bid auld lang syne to 2009 before I was on my knees. It all happened on my way to the gym for the last time this year. I lost my concentration the split second I was about to step down a flight of five steps. Next I know, I had landed on my butt and an officer in charge of more than 100 people who must have heard me moaned was asking if "ma'am's all right?" Yes, I'm fine and happy new year, I chirpirly replied. The butt now hurts. Especially the left butt cheek, for landing right on the edge of a marble step.
What's a tumble compared with the troubles of 2009! This year is marked by troubles at home. Tumultous times between the father-in-law and mother-in-law. Bad enough that Kayrin was left to be sent to school by her teacher after having her grandfather ferry her for about 1 1/2 years. The squabble spread, splitting the family in many ways. It also made me realize that there wasn't much I could have done to keep my own parents together when trouble brewed between them when I was in my early-20s. As an adult in the late 30s, I couldn't even patch up the divide between MIL and FIL. For all my efforts, I became MIL's public enemy No. 1.
A thud on the butt is a good reminder as any that in the coming year, I'll take charge of my family, because no one is able to keep my marriage in good shape if not for SF and myself. Happy New Year!

School

"I like my school," Kayrin told me today after her orientation at Sri Sedaya, which she went to with Daddy.
Best words I've heard in weeks! After months and months of agonising over which school to send Kayrin to, which type of school she goes to (Chinese-medium versus the National-type-in-a private-school), she seems happy with what we've picked.
I thought it was hard to choose which brand of milk formula to give her after I stopped breastfeeding. This is a lot tougher!
I hope her fondness for school remains. I don't particularly remember liking the five schools I had attended all my life, except for may be Sekolah Menengah Convent Butterworth. I spent five years there, the longest I'd been in a school, so that probably explained my affinity for it.
There was Sekolah Kebangsaan Baling, SKB. The kids called it sekolah kandang babi. Never felt like I belonged there. I was the only Chinese kid there till Woan and Lyan started school. Then there was three of us Chinese kids in a school of Malays. And a handful of Indians and Thais.
In 1980, we moved to Butterworth. SRK Convent Butterworth was fun, especially its library of Enid Blyton books. Sure did inspire me to read. Mrs. Wong the librarian was the best in inspiring us to devour those story books.
Then there was Sekolah Menengah Convent for five years, with teachers who inspire me to write. Puan Lee Mee Lin, in Form 1, allowed us to write and dedicated time to us asking silly questions . We could remain anonymous by dropping questions into a box placed in class. One student asked what VD was! Anothr asked how we could mourn the death of the Challenger astronauts.
Then, I got sent to Sekolah Menengah Tinggi Bukit Mertajam for Form 6. Didn't last more than three months at HSBM but through the people there, I met, fell in love and married a true-blue HSBM alumni.
Sekolah Menengah Datuk Onn was the nearest school to home I ever had. I'd walked there and home.
May Kayrin have a great time at Sri Sedaya, make friends she remembers and be inspired to live life fully because of her experience there. Happy schooling, darling.

Mother, Only by Law

Life at home has been chaotic since the middle of this year. This time, I must say, I have not much of a hand in it in the first place. Now, it seems to me that I'm the central, focus point of this family trouble that started with the mother-in-law and father-in-law having a fight over money.
When the rows began, I tried to stay neutral, patch them together. I assumed that I could help. Right-ho, the first thing I always say about assuming is this -- making an ass out of you and me. If I had wondered why I didn't do enough to patch my parents together way back in the 1990s, those anguish were sort of put to rest after what I attempted with the in-laws. I tried talking to the mother-in-law, all in vain. Actually not. It turned me into her public enemy No. 1. She's caused SF to stop talking to his dad, and now she's wont on worsening relations in my home.
I'm sinking into a big hole of unhappiness. I'm one to talk things through. Even when SF and I fight, we trashed things out. We may raise our voices, but we talk things over and we get through it. But how does one discuss the issues at hand, that mother-in-law has only bad things to say about me behind my back, without making the old lady put on a show of being the world's most victimised person? She does fainting spells when things don't go her way.
Her anger is seen by all around her. Her unhappiness is well known. My only prayer is not to go down her path. Not to internalize all these angst and years later, implode and accuse SF of not taking up my case. I need to see things from a different view. But wait, the view's blocked because she's impeding it.
I need to de-stress. Poor Kayrin has already been the brunt of my unbridled temper lately and can't understand why I won't speak to her grandmother over the phone.
I'm sure one day I'll come back to this and read this post and no longer want to scream myself hoarse. May be one day I'll stop having pretend conversations with the old lady where she is civil and agree nicely that she will stop making me out as the evil one.
Not everyone thinks highly of me. If SF and Kayrin do, I guess that should be sufficient.
How apt that this was on the Daily Bible Verse today.
"A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating." Proverbs 18:6

A Win

On Aug. 5, SF and I took the day off to go look at some private schools for Kayrin. A day for running errands and for some time together. We dropped the S40 off for some tire alignment off. After half a day of running around in the rain, we returned to pick up the car, test-drove the new XC60. I was given the Volvo summer contest form after SF settled the bill. I hurriedly wrote up a slogan. Knowing how if I brought home the form I'd never wander back to drop it off, a 15-word slogan was conjured up while I stood on the counter. And now I've got my name up in lights! Wow. It's my biggest win ever.
I've won, with Yee's help on the answers, a KFC meal for the entire family including Ah Kong (grandpa) at the one and only KFC outlet in Butterworth when I was a teenager. Later, there was an Avon gift basket. But I don't think I've been prolific since then. Wei has had quite a few wins.

http://www.volvocars.com/my/salesandservices/promotions/Pages/SummerXL.aspx


2nd Prize :
RM5,000 voucher redeemable for Volvo accessories plus a
Portable Navigation System worth RM2,650
Winner :
Jane Lee Ching Shen
I/C Number :
xxxxxx-xx-5142

A couple of weeks back, there was also the good news of a 70K-ringgit rebate from the developer for the new house. These are things cheering SF and I up amidst all these craziness we have to deal with on the old folks' end.

A Sale, Nothing Less

escada
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

You know the Malaysian Mega Sale has come around again when words like `The Best Deals', `Unbelievable Offers' and `Amazing Grabs' fly past your eyes every few pages in the newspapers. But nothing beats this ad. You and I must make a beeline there.
There are items with discounts of up to 90%. And you get an extra 10% if you're the cardholder of a certain distinctive bank. Add this up, and I read a giveaway!

Rain in KL

Rain in Kl
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

The past two weeks in KL have been a time of bad air quality. The annual slash-and-burn took place in Indonesian forests and even in some Malaysian plantations. The smog got so bad, again, and the media gave it not much coverage anymore.
Amidst all this, the skies darkened on the political side too. A life was lost. A 30-year-old father-to-be. Tremendously sad when he was in custody at that time. We will remember,

Three Years

Three Years
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

It's been three years since you left us, Woan. I'm sure one day I'll cross a bridge as well, and we'll be seeing each other again. We missed you a lot. Ivan's growing up fast, and cheeky and naughty though he sometimes is, we've got no complaints. You've got a kid you'd surely be proud of.
You're happy in heaven, we trust. It must be a lot more beautiful there. No more of the suffering you had to endure a bit more than three years ago.
We miss you a lot.

Kuching

iphone_pic
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin and I took our first flight this year, to Kuching. I surprised myself with how infrequent I now fly. From a couple of times a month in 2000/2001, I'm now down to one flying trip a year. Kayrin loved being on a plane..especially when Malaysia Airlines served up Baskin-Robbins ice-cream on the flight out to Kuching.
Kuching was wonderful, as we did nothing but wandered down Carpenter Street for food, lazed by the pool every evening after the afternoon nap. Night time meant more walking around for food and the waterfront.
This was Kayrin and SF waiting for the flight home to KL. We had three nights there but with an extra early flight out at 8:15 a.m. on June 9 and a late out home at 6:50 p.m. on June 12, we had four whole days. Sufficient for Kuching town. Next destination, Kota Kinabalu.

Nine

Nine years ago, we weren't family. Nine years ago, we pledged to start a life together. That didn't come naturally. Or easily. It took me years and lots of tears to see I would have to give up part of myself to have an us. Once I got through that stage, I was afraid for what I could lose now that I was a part of us. Now that I've looked back, no one said, `Welcome to an easy life now that you're hitched.'
Nine years -- or 20 if you start counting when we first met -- you stood by me, accepted my flaws, gritted your teeth and stuck up for me. You let me be me. Thank you and happy anniversary, Sweetie.

Toothless

iphone_pic
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Almost six years to the day after her first tooth came out, Kayrin lost her two lower ones. Here's the toothless girl, still looking pretty toothy. Pix taken from my new phone..the iPhone 3G. I went hunting for a Nokia to replace the missing Nokia. Frustrated at 2 days of unfruitful search for the perfect Nokia, I settled on this baby. More reviews coming up!

Phone Lost

There must be a home for lost phones. Just like the Lost Boys in Peter Pan. They were boys lost by their nannies.

I lost my mobile phone on May 2, while shopping at Tesco Puchong for the first time in months. That was my second phone lost in about seven months. No fun, indeed, when I was getting used to using the Nokia N78 after losing the HTC Touch in October. The N78 was great in that I could send pictures directly to the Web. And the camera was a 3.2-megapixel Carl Zeiss one. That has spoiled me a bit. Who wants a 2-megapixel camera even though the iPhone is one cool piece.

A pattern has emerged, I noticed. The last time I lost my phone, Kayrin had come down with hand, foot and mouth disease, and I was walking around in a daze after losing sleep. I was trying to lobby her kindy to shut and prevent the spread when I lost the phone.

This time, it's the lack of sleep after Kayrin had her worst stomach-related viral infection. She threw up six straight days and was recovering, but on the day that I lost my phone, she threw up some of her breakfast.

So maybe when I lose sleep over my child's health, I should hang the phone around my neck. If you happen to chance upon me with a phone swinging from my neck, don't mouth SHOW OFF, OK? It's just one sleep-deprived mommy with a tendency to lose her shoe-phone.

On a Mission - Part II

I've got my police report. Not too bad an experience. I had to make the report in the vicinity of Kuala Lumpur because that's where the incident happened. Now I know there's a police station next to Empire Tower (or now known as Intermark), along Jalan Tun Razak. I typed my own report and told the officer I didn't need an investigating officer on my case. No fees paid. Wonderful. Next task, snap pictures of the place of incident. Now, that's tricky, as I might be in trouble for snapping away in the embassy area. Will have to explain to the police guarding the vicinity of the embassies and high commissions what I'm up to! The only other time I got shouted at snapping pictures was along Penang's Gurney Drive, while doing my photo-journalism paper. Must have been 1992/3. I had positioned myself on to take a picture of the promenade when this lady in her 60s, dressed for a run, started hurling abuses at me for snapping her pix, supposedly. My regret was not to shout back at her.

On a Mission

My car bonnet had a dent, thanks to some flying pebbles from our very well-maintained roads. I'm now bent on getting the city council of Kuala Lumpur to cover, if not all, part of the costs of the fixing and re-painting job. I've always gone off the rails at the shoddy workmanship of the contractors which dig up our roads. This time, I'm taking action.
It's just the start, but already I've made about 20 phone calls over two days. I rang DBKL yesterday, got passed to Jabatan Kerja Awam (Public Works Department), given the run-around. And today, I got through to a legal adviser, who instructed me to file a notice of claim with a long list of a copy each of the following..
-IC
-driver's licence
-car insurance
-car registration card
-adjustor's report
-original bills
-police report
All's do-able, until I got to the bottom. To file a police report, where do I go? The nearest police station, you'd say. Doesn't work this way here. So that was why there were at least 20 calls made. More to come in this adventure. Stay tuned.

Eng Tay Exhibition

Eng Tay Exhibition
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin makes it a point to visit Galeri Petronas in Suria KLCC when we go for our month Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra performance. This month, New York-based, Malaysian-born Eng Tay was having his sculpture and paintings exhibited there. His round figures remind me of Botero's. The Brazilian artist's exhibition was the only one I made my way to in Singapore during my years of living there. Rushed there after work, before a company dinner, one Friday because that's a day when the Singapore gallery opens up to the public free of charge. Cheap me. I'm glad Kayrin's enjoying the art exhibits here. She knows she shouldn't touch them.

Pangkor Holiday

02/04/2009
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

(left to right: Lukas, Kayrin, Yau-Yau and his mommy Fong Siew)

This March school holiday we took a short jaunt to Pangkor Island. The Pangkor Island Beach Resort was wonderful for having a stretch of beach not shared with other hotels, giving us privacy. With a little cove, it was well protected. Trees lined the beach, and the pools, next to the beach, were clean. Much cleaner than what we experienced during our August 2008 break at Awana Kijal. Pangkor island doesn't serve up great food, so if we ever make our way back to this one, we'll definitely sign up for the hotel meals in advance. We had the company of two families, and with six adults and three kids, it didn't cost much to charter a van for a 50-ringgit return ride to Pasir Bogak. Kayrin enjoyed having the two little boys, Lukas and Yau-Yau, as company. The highlight of this three-day, two-night trip was the seafood lunch at a shack that we had at Kampung Koh. Hai Tien Di served wonderfully fresh seafood. Let's see if we can find our way back there. Would I go back to Pangkor Island Beach Resort? Definitely.

Preparation

Kayrin and I have been playing the "fishing" game with a deck of cards in the evenings. It's the one, where we flip two cards and try to find matching pairs. Last night, she prepared the cards, laying them out nicely on her mattress while waiting to play with me as I quickly had dinner and showered after my return from work.
Half way through, I notice the little girl easily getting her pairs. As it turns out, she was paving the way to her being the winner by setting up the pairs next to each other! The conniving one ;)

Three-Hour Journey

A three-hour trip out of Kuala Lumpur could take you quite far. Seremban for sure, Melaka too, and even Singapore at the speed that SF drives. From Penang, three hours in a car would take you to Ipoh and beyond.
The three-hour journey of mine started in KLCC at a bit after 6 p.m. yesterday. Back up a little, to about 4:30 p.m., when dark clouds rolling in from the Titiwangsa mountain range drenched the downtown area.
So, the rain brought floods and disrupted train services. I ended up walking along Jalan Ampang to get to a monorail station to try and find my way to KL Sentral, which would normally take me all of 10 mins and 5 stops on the train. Instead, I had to walk 20 mins, overtaking cars and buses in a bumper-to-bumper crawl. There was no proper pavement all the way and where there was a pavement to walk on, puddles formed, and pedestrians had to jump out to the path of traffic. It's quite an act. Jump out, swing bag(s) away from any potential snatch thief, avoid being hit by motorcyclist, and then deftly skip back to the so-called pavement while trying to avoid knocking into fellow pedestrians.
Then, upon arriving at destination, I looked up and saw where I'm supposed to head. Near but thanks to a lack of consideration for people who have to take public transportation, that means meandering through Brickfields' former railway depot (after darting into and out of traffic on the mainroad of Jalan Tun Sambanthan), and wandering through the bus and taxi stand in the gutter of KL Sentral. No signs to guide you. No fun. Some of our city planners should be down here with us.
I reached my destination. To a spouse whose face was as dark as the looming clouds at 5 p.m. Because he's had to wait for three hours in a hotel lobby. Nothing to keep him entertained except for his notebook. For me, another day spent battling my way home after work. The life of a worker bee in KL city.

And sore gluteal muscles (I call it butt muscle) I've now got. From walking on a slanted pavement.

Not Unhappy, Not Crazy

I haven't written for a while. I've been busy dealing with issues relating to a new home, to Kayrin not coping well with her Mandarin lessons at kindy. May be that's why I'm again battling another coughing fit. I've gone back and realized that I tend to fall ill in February and August. Is that when the weather changes? Is that when I get stressed out by changes in routine? Or just that I'm not getting enough rest at those times of the year?
I haven't written because I haven't been really mad or angry, or ecstatically happy. But that doesn't mean life is not great. In fact, life is good. I'm pottering on. SF was away last week, in Hanoi, and Kayrin and I appreciate his being home even more since then. He's a great parent. He participates in everything to do with Kayrin. OK, I still complain that he doesn't get up often enough to pull the duvet over her. He's an easier person to live with these days. When he gets angry with me, he stays angry for a much shorter period. That's something I really appreciate. I'm the kind to want to talk things through. And he keeps mum. So, you can imagine the stress when I want to talk AFTER a fight and he wants to stay quiet. Yup, it gets us into another fight. So, I'm trying not to talk right away. Not right then. And he bounces back faster, talking to me normally. That really eases the tension, because after a while of talking about other things, I don't feel the urgency to be the psychoanalyst in our relationship.
I'm happy with things now. I try not to think too far. I'm a worrier. Big time. But I'll try to manage with worrying about nothing for the moment. May your day have spots of worry-free time too.

Year of the Ox

31/01/2009
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Here's Kayrin with our neighbour and her favourite little fella, Lukas. She adores him, thinks the 2-year-old is partly hers.

Kayrin's First Poem

The lunar new year started on Jan. 26, and I had a whole week and more to spend at home. It was a wonderful break, spent at home watching movies including "Ip Man," "Vicky, Christina, Barcelona," eating lots of yummy siew yoke (roast pork) and watching SF and Kayrin prancing around, wildly swinging their arms. The Nintendo Wii found its way into the home as Kayrin's birthday present.
The highlight of this relaxing week at home was discovering Kayrin's talent. She wrote a poem. She made it up as we were playing. It goes like this.
On a hot summer's day,
She played and played
Till her hands are gray
Then it rained
And she quickly hopped onto a train.

I helped her with the last line but to be writing a poem before she's even 6. Wow. I'm beaming with **pride**.

Pork Noodles

06/01/2009
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Best pork noodles in the Klang Valley, SF and I says, is at the Hao Wan coffeeshop in Kuchai Lama. This bowl, filled to the brim with minced meat and lean meat, comes at just 4 ringgit. We've been going to this kopitiam for pork noodles for a whole decade. The coffeeshop doesn't look that great. Broken tiles and dirty drains outside. But for this bowl of kuey teow, SF and I will put up with the surroundings. We sneaked there for our breakfast after dropping Kayrin off at the kindy on the first day of school and she didn't bawl her eyes out.

Welcoming 2009

Another year, another milestone.
This year, I plumbed the depths of depression, and grudgingly accepted help to get me out of it. SF and the chest physician must have spotted things not right with me. Psychologist Paul J's help was invaluable.
This year, Kayrin turned five. And I have yet to give her a sibling. I alternate between telling myself to give up and to seek medical help before it's too late.
This year, she started kindy full time. Snagged herself her first boyfriend. And caught hand, foot and mouth disease (not from him).
This year, SF and I started our breakfast dates. Friday morning, with wantan mee and tea, we talked without the interference of a 5-year-old who must know everything.
This year, SF fulfilled his pledge to take his kid to Disneyland. We holidayed in Hong Kong, Kijal/Terengganu, Melaka and Penang. I realized then that home is best.
This year, we committed to the biggest debt we've taken on -- a new home.
This year, I marked the second anniversary of Woan's passing, and realized that I could still cry when I think of her.
This year, I resolved to be nicer to my mom. And stayed thankful for all my sisters.
This year, I had a new boss at work, and started thinking about cutting back on working hours. (No fault of the boss!).
This year, I learned to post photos from my mobile phone to blog, and how to touch up pix.
This year, SF and I fought hard. And loved each other to greater depths. Or at least I know I have.
This year, we ate more at home than ever because SF re-discovered the joys of cooking.
This year, we became brave enough to use our pressure cooker for the first time. First time since we bought it in Singapore in March 2005.
This year, I worked out resolutely at the gym and cut my cholesterol level to the lowest in three years. And I ate oat every day. Almost.
This year is coming to an end. In nine hours or less.
Next year, I want to nudge SF a bit harder to get to the gym, be a more-relaxed, lots-more-fun mummy and be happy!
Happy New Year, all.

Carousel

Carousel
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin's favourite ride is at the IOI Mall. We hardly allow her to have kiddy rides but at this place, SF indulges her. For 2 ringgit, she gets quite a few rounds on this carousel that seems like something out of the movies.

Another Flat

21/12/08
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

When it rains, it pours. About a month after a big gash on one of the back tyres, I had another puncture. This time, I was at the office. A kind soul left this note on my car windscreen. Had I not seen this, I would have driven out of the office carpark. The tyre on the driver's side was flat as a pancake. Last round it was the other side's. AAM came to the rescue because the last round's tyre-changer was in a meeting. There was quite some heated exchanges between us because I was aghast that I had to find my way home after dropping the car at the workshop past 8 p.m. SF turned up in the end.
And thankfully, too, this time it didn't cost me the 1,031.90 ringgit like the previous incident.
It was a mere 32.55 ringgit, to patch what a screw had damaged. The amount had also included a 15 ringgit car wash, so all in, not too painful on my pocket during these recession-hit times.

No Sweat

Some ladies at the gym head off after their yoga classes without showers. I've always had to have a shower, no matter how late I am in getting back to work. With sweat dripping down at every class, how was I to just "dry-clean" this body and put the office attire on. Today, I broke with routine. I traipsed into a different instructor's class and Cedric isn't the kind to drive you through yoga as if it's a cardio session. He instead tells you to "meld your heart", "lengthen the sides of your chest."
Mind you, it was quite difficult to do that. Got to focus on every bit of your body to know what to do. But it was a sweat-less session for me. So, after washing the hands, applying some deodorant and combing the hair, I was back at work ;)
Certainly not as gratifying as a yoga class that makes me sweat, but still good enough to keep me from nodding off at the desk.

Concert

Concert
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin's first concert. Held at the Sri KL private school's hall, we had a good laugh seeing kids gyrating to the Ketchup song on stage.

KLCC Park

KLCC Park
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Kayrin and I had our girls' day out on Nov. 26, 2008, and she decided she wanted to go to the KLCC Park, her favourite in this city. The place was full of kids as it was the year-end school hols. This was taken via my Nokia N78, and posted via Flickr. Trying to get a bit tech-savvy here, as you can see. This isn't the original photo. It's been tinkered with, using Picnik.

Ogres

This morning, I started calling Kayrin 'ogre ogre.' What about mommy?, I asked. Mommy ogre, she replied. And daddy, I asked. 'Bad ogre.'

Tyres and Trains

It takes being on the other side of the pasture to realize that your side is often greener. Today, I had to take the train in to work after dropping the car at the workshop, following a tyre puncture last night, and boy, was I unhappy in the RapidKL two-carriage coaches. A lady kept coughing and snifling hard, right into my left ear. The snorting noise made by the young lady in her 20s was driving me crazy. I certainly didn't fancy catching a cold from her. What's worse, she was standing close to me and refusing to get the hint from my stares that she moves away because on the other side was a man. Now I appreciate my personal airspace in the A-class. And to think, I was grumbling each day about having to drive myself to and from work.
The car passenger side's back tyre took on a big gash last night. Must have been the pothole along the Bukit Jalil Highway. Damn DBKL. If I had more time, I'd be claiming the costs of the two 16-inch Continental 195/55 treads from them. Joe from Cycle & Carriage just rang. That would be 800 ringgit. Well, could have been worse. I could have been stranded, could have driven off the road.
Thank goodness there was Shaw Feng at home. I wouldn't fancy being the damsel in distress at the road side at 7:30 p.m., waiting for help on tyre change. I totally have no idea how to change a tyre. OK, I do. A bit. Jack the car up and remove the tyre and plug on a new one. I've never done it. May be there's a course I can go to. May be I should read the manual. Thankfully, Shaw Feng knows how. I know how to call for help. I rang the Mercedes breakdown service. But they couldn't come! Thank goodness for Shaw Feng. The poor fella, who had to work in the drizzle on the car porch last night, deserves a big hug. Or a big bowl of Hokkien mee.

HTC-Less But With Loads of Supplements

I lost my three-month-old HTC Diamond phone on Oct. 31, a nightmare. I inadvertently left it behind in my haste to get out of the gym. Realising my loss 3 minutes later didn't help. The phone had been switched off by the time I rushed back to the gym. But I didn't dare go on and on about it at home. It was, after all, a present from Shaw Feng. Normally, my way of getting through such stuff is to talk it to death. You know, where I berate myself, curse the thief, wonder how I could be so careless, thump my fist at the dishonesty of some people, then scold myself somemore, etc. You get the point. That's pretty cathartic. It exorcises the pain. This time, I kept quiet, telling myself that Paul the psychologist would ask me to ponder changing my actions. I thought it worked quite well. And then a weekend after the incident, Shaw Feng sarcastically remarked that my loss didn't seem to hurt me. Aha! He's so used to my nagging, talking self that a change like that seemed to indicate I wasn't upset with the loss.
Anyway, amidst the handphone loss, which happened in the gym, I won a prize for being one of the top three gym-goers for September and October. The prize -- loads of Blackmores supplements. Supplements are no replacement for a lost phone but at least it's some form of consolation. Now, time to get used to using a Nokia again.

Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease

Kayrin caught HFMD over the long Deepavali weekend and what agony it was for the little girl. My heart breaks. Ulcers lined the inner sides of her cheeks, dotted her tongue and were on her upper and lower lips. She cried out in pain everytime water came in contact with her.
It all started with Kayrin telling me over the phone, as I was driving home, that she was feeling sick. She threw up as soon as I arrived home at about 8 p.m. We brought her to a pediatrician's clinic (not her regular one), and she threw up twice more at the clinic. Suspecting it was stomach flu, the doc noted that she has lots of ulcers in her mouth plus quite a high temperature of about 39 Celsius. But with no spots on her hands or feet, he said it wasn't HFMD.
On Saturday, when showering her, I cleaned her tongue. Kayrin screamed in pain. That was really awful. Her fever seems to have abated that day. But by Sunday morning, she was in such agony that we brought her into the A&E at Sunway Hospital. The doc gave OralAid, a lignocaine mouth drip, paracetamol and told us to give her warm salt gargle. Wrong thing when her ulcers were so huge. Poor Kayrin didn't want anymore of the rise after I forced it on her twice. By Sunday evening, she had refused all food and drink. Her grandmother made her way home to feed Kayrin. That night, reading on the Web about HFMD, I realized that dehydration was the biggest enemy.
To feed Kayrin water, which she refused to even sip, we used a plastic syringe and `pumped' water into her mouth throughout the night. Deepavali (a Monday) was spent at home, catching up on sleep. By then, Kayrin was scratching her toes a second night.
Come Tuesday morning, I drove Kayrin to her usual pediatrician, Dr. Wong May Foong, who immediately diagnosed Kayrin as having HFMD and pointed out the spots/vesicles on her fingers and toes.
At the clinic was also Kayrin's classmate, Law Yen Kay, who also complained of pain in the mouth. The two of them were among the three who have caught HFMD in the class of Sakura B at Tadika Prima Ceria.
I've gone really paranoid as a result of Kayrin catching HFMD. I asked Ida the maid to wipe all doorknobs with soap, constantly clean the fridge handle, especially after Shaw Feng showed me an article on dirty hands and door handles.
Yesterday, Wednesday, Kayrin started asking for food again. A good sign. And she was ordering me to scold her daddy for being a bad guy. I shouldn't have married a bad guy, she said.

Overcoming Cough

Very happy that I'm almost winning the battle with this cough in a short period. Two weeks. Short for me because I've often battled cough for months. And this round, what works? I can't quite tell, but here's a list of what I did, with much encouragement, or scolding ;), from Shaw Feng.
1) Gargle warm salt water, more than three times a day during the worst of the cough.
2) Use Sterimar nasal spray morning and night.
3) Eat no deepfried food, no pears and no chicken and eggs. All advice from the TCM doctor. And yes, eat no vegetables during dinner.
4) Take garlic pearls, on the advice of colleague Ryan.
5) Get lots of sleep.
6) Avoid travel to Singapore for crazy weekend party (best decision made for me by SF this round).
7) Continue with gym routine as per usual. Actually, I stepped up my exercise quota, going for a second yoga class in a week.

Thank God for this quick recovery. And I avoided Singulair too. whoo-hoo!

Blast From the Past

Bruce Springsteen's `Dancing in the Dark' came on air this morning and I resolved to look up the lyrics when I drove into the office. That means going onto Google, typing `Dancing in the Dark lyrics', and pop here they are.
But I remember the days when I wanted lyrics. It means playing the cassette on dad's Aiwa player, with pen and paper ready, and fingers quick enough to go on the stop/pause-rewind-play button! Stop to write, then replay for bits I've missed or couldn't catch, then play again.
And if I wanted to listen to a song, it means calling in to Double RB the Australian radio station broadcasting out of Telok Air Tawar in Butterworth, or writing to Janet Ambrose of Radio Four or Blue Channel before that.
These days, it's not even about buying the CDs. It's "Sweetheart, please download for me" or You-tubing it.
What a change two decades made.

To Exercise or Not

When a cold strikes, I lie low. No exercising. No hitting the gym. Just meander around in the office and feel miserable.
This round, I've decided to try otherwise. That means still crawling to the gym, sweating it out on the cardio machines for about 20 minutes, my usual. OK, may be I've cut back a bit on the weights. Let's see how I fare this round. A longer recovery? A shorter one?
What do you do when you catch a cold? Break from your usual routine?

Short Break

Melaka always seemed a boring place to me. Too commercialized. Recently, however, I've been wanting to see Melaka again. I haven't explored enough. We took the opportunity to do that on Oct. 1-2, the Raya weekend. It coincided with Heng Hou and Ai Wei being in Melaka too. Ai Wei, whom we met for the first time, is a Malaccan and gamely took us to Amy's for Nyonya food and to Min Sheng Hygienic Ice Cream.
Amy's served up wonderful chicken pong-teh, we were told but they'd run out by the time we got there for lunch at about 1 p.m. Only complaint was that food was slow in being served. Kayrin kept asking for the arrival of food, a rarity.
Min Sheng's cendol was a real nice one to tuck into on a hot day. I'd say it's the best cendol I'd gotten in the southern part of Peninsular Malaysia.
Being in Melaka when a quarter of Malaysia and half of Singapore descended on it could be quite taxing if you aren't from KL. well, KL-ites have seen worse. What's worse than being stuck in a 500 meter underground tunnel leading from the KLCC carpark for an hour?
Kayrin, after many hours of enduring me pointing out ancient buildings and monuments to her, had this to say about Melaka: Why is everything so old in Melaka?

Princess for a Day

Kayrin saw a temporary studio at the lobby of the Giant hypermarket one weekend last month, when we were out shopping. She was adamant she had her glamour shots taken! We had to make our way back to that studio as it was too long a queue that day. Heck, I wouldn't be dragged into such shots as a kid. Well, my one and only time doing such shots were for the wedding in 2001. I must say I had fun. Now, to figure out how to upload those shots into digital beings and get them up here.
In the meantime, here's Kayrin playing princess. Shaw Feng and I were thoroughly amused she was so game at sitting through the experience.

Crocs

Kayrin got her first pair of Crocs from Singapore in 2005, before they were launched in Malaysia. Her pair, in fuchsia pink, didn't last her very long as she outgrew them quite fast. But that was the start of her love affair with Crocs. We've bought her no other shoes since then. Getting her second pair, the turquoise ones in Penang's Komtar, and the subsequent red Mary Janes in Isetan, we've gone on to accumulate pairs and pairs from her from Hong Kong, when I travelled there for my team meeting in 2007 and discovered that they are at least 30% cheaper there.
Crocs are great for kids. They are washable, and seeing how quickly kids dirty their shoes, they are a wonder. And there's no need to wear socks too. As a parent, that's a jump in glee for me. No need to struggle with finding a pair of socks and making the kid stick her feet out calmly while I'm already running late.

Kayrin's Retort

Last night, after a tense evening of making Kayrin memorise the five words for her weekly spelling (moth, fish, ship, shop, thin), the little girl told me over the phone that there was no test today.
"Told you no need to practise," she said.

Headstand

I went onto my first headstand at yoga class today! Woo-hoooo. And to think, that after more than a year of practising yoga, I'd never be able to do that. I did it twice too. Very invigorating. Must try again tomorrow! Of course, it's not a pure headstand. I had to have the wall to lend me some support. ;)
Still. My achievement for the day, the week.
Now, if only I can go into the full-wheel pose.

Zimbabwe, Myanmar...Malaysia

The Southeast Asian nation of Malaysia has decided it has to be up there in the ranks witb Myanmar and Zimbabwe, stifling voices of dissent with draconian laws. Malaysians were dismayed when a journalist, a blogger and an opposition MP were arrested on Sept. 12 under the ISA, which allows for detention without trial for up to two years.
The anger from the ground comes from the government speak that this was done on the wishes of the majority, as the home minister attests to.
We're mere citizens, going about our lives, but we don't want to be treated as idiots. We don't want to be hoodwinked into thinking there is racial tension when it's cracks within the ruling political parties that the current government wants to mask. Let our voices be heard. Let the anger seethe. Let us not forget. Let us stand united.

Lying to a 5-Year-Old

I can no longer lie very much to Kayrin, who's all of 5 years and 7 months now. Snippets of our conversation in the past month:

In the car..
me: Kayrin, look over there..see those policemen and the guys they've stopped. Do you know why? It's because they won't put on their seat belts.
Kayrin: Motorbikes don't have seat belts.
(Great, those two mat rempits were on a kapchai)

In the bathroom, while I was brushing my teeth and Kayrin was standing on the covered toilet bowl.
me: Kayrin, please don't play with daddy's shaving foam. He'll be furious.
Kayrin: But what does it say here? How do we use it?
me: I don't know. I don't shave.
Kayrin: But you do. You shave your armpits.
(Next time I'd better do all that in the privacy of the office loo).

Awana Kijal

Awana Kijal in Terengganu was fun. The fine, pristine sandy beach a pleasure to be on in the evenings. (Too hot to even venture there after 10 a.m.). The turtle-release event that was part of turtle conservation was a real treat for Kayrin. It was done at about 8:30 p.m. the night we arrived, Aug. 20. In pitch dark, it was difficult to see much but what a mini-adventure it was for Kayrin to be traipsing on the beach without much lighting, except for daddy's cell phone light.
I'd say Awana Kijal is worth venturing out to, despite the almost five-hour journey which includes a lunch stop in Kuantan.
There were two Chinese restaurants and a KFC outlet within a 5-minute walk from the resort and that made mealtimes very easy. Our lunch and dinner ranges between 35 ringgit and 50 ringgit each. Not bad. The kind of price we pay in KL.
Great four-day break in Awana. Total cost, a bit below 1,000 ringgit for a room with a roll-away bed and buffet breakfasts for all three of us.
The point of holidays, as I re-discover, is how nice the home is. Nothing beats having..
1) Air-cond thermostat that needs no fiddling
2) Pillow with just the right firmness
3) Lighting that doesn't need you to wake up in total darkness
4) And knowing which side of the bed to roll out from.
Welcome home!

Terengganu

Ahh, the beach at Terengganu, here we come! We haven't had a beach holiday for so long. The last one must have been in Penang, and that was almost two years ago. Wow. We went to Cameron Highlands this time last year, went to Hong Kong in March. Finally, the seaside again. It will be the Awana Kijal. Looks pretty from its Web site. And it has the Taman Sari spa. Oooh..that's more important than any food outlets. It's a branch of the Taman Sari under Mustika Ratu in Jakarta. I'm a big fan of the Taman Sari in the Indonesian capital. Yes, I even memorised how to tell the cab driver to get there: Jalan Wahid Hasyim, menghala Tanah Abang.
That's how big a fan I am. Used to religiously go when I was travelling to Jakarta. These days, I can't even find time to go to Phillip Wain at Jalan Raja Chulan for a massage. Then again, these days I have a 5-year-old to keep me floored with her antics.

Weak in the Presence of Beauty

This Alison Moyet song makes me close my eyes, and right away I get transported into the 80s. It's not corny like Duran Duran's The Reflex (that's sure to get me blasted by fans of Simon LeBon, Andy Taylor, et al. Try listening to this Moyet song again if you haven't heard it awhile. Could even bring tears to your eyes. May be I'm just old and sentimental.

Three As and Three Es

I'm making this my mantra for now, where SF is concerned. It was given by Paul J, someone I go to to reflect on my doings, my behaviour, myself. Paul says:
Increase the 3 As:
Action
Attention
Affection
..and reduce the 3 Es:
Ego
Expectations
Emergency (or urgency).
These should make me a better partner. I crave attention but am I giving the same? The not-so-nice bit about me is that, I also have huge expectations when I give affection or attention. If I remember these 3 As and 3 Es, I'd be better to live with, I hope. So let me report back on this two or three months down the road. That's how long before I forget my resolve, based on the frequency of rows at home!

The Clever One at Home

When it comes to numbers, I win at home. So far, anyway. I know my mathematics. But when it gets to survival, SF wins handsdown.
Food: SF whips up lunches and dinners when he's home. When he's not, Kayrin has to eat tuna-in-rice for both meals.
Baby: SF kept Kayrin and I well fed, after my mom left for home following a six-week stay with us in Singapore following Kayrin's arrival. He single-handedly did the marketing, cooking and washing. All I could do then was profer my breasts to Kayrin. I always consider the 13-month breastfeeding part to be my biggest achievement.
Baby-food: SF cooked all of Kayrin's lunch as she was weaned off milk full time. All I could do was squeeze breastmilk into a cup of cereal the one time I was at home with her alone. Well, at least it was fresh and warm. I didn't have time to warm up the breastmilk from the fridge after having to bathe her that morning.
And yesterday, SF stunned me once more. I've been working on pairing my Bluetooth earpiece with the HTC Diamond phone he gave me for my birthday. I tried it at work, tried it at home. I really did try!
SF took over, and within 2 minutes, managed to make it happen. My hero! Ya, anyone reading this is going to think me a tech idiot. Don't think I am but my spouse just happens to be smarter, of course.
He ties knots really well too. Me, well, I couldn't even name the one I use to tie up shopping bags.

Your Spouse, Your Friend

Do you see your spouse as your friend? We all started as friends, but how many, after grandly and happily signing on the dotted line, think of the other half as the best friend?
It's a nice, warm feeling inside when we first get to use "my husband" or "my wife" in conversations. Then it all gets too ingrained in us all. And so the friend faded into the background as our role as the husband or wife comes to fore.
Here's for you:

A friend's message gets promptly replied,
My text messages fly out of sight;
A friend's birthday greetings makes you pleasantly surprised,
Mine -- I wasn't even sure it arrived;

A hotel's birthday cake was a delight; worth a mention to all alike,
Mine, the night before, was perhaps a little too slight;
While waiting to get onto the clouds, you update the world on your whereabouts,
But to let me know, that's a chore you'd prefer to do without;
It's fun to comment on pictures of friends' hotels and holiday meals,
Yet too much to ask about my daily 59-minute traffic ordeal.

So here's a plea,
Perhaps you could reach for me
upon waking,
And not pick up the super-duper phone
to know what's buzzing;

Cos I'm a friend when we're biking around,
Perhaps I can still stay one now
We laughed, and each moment was treasured
as an ode to a best friend found.

New Member

We're about to welcome a new addition to the family. Right now, under our roof on weekdays, there's Kayrin's grandparents, the maid, Shaw Feng and myself. Soon, there will be Kuaci Ham-Ham, the name Kayrin has picked. I'm trying to figure out the breed. It could be a Russian dwarf hamster or a Roborovski.
I was quite adamant on getting a pair for Kayrin but thank goodness the sensible one at home (yes, SF is sometimes the less-emotional one) said one for a start is good. They can live solitary lives, these hamsters. I'm envisioning a little thing scurrying about on weekends, tree shavings all over the floor and a certain smell permeating the living room.
Now we've got to worry about Kuaci's diet (no fruits as it may get diabetes), check out where the nearest vet is (for emergencies), and having to comfort Kayrin when she loses her pet, either through death or when it runs out of the home.
So, welcome Kuaci, and may Kayrin learn responsibilities! We've already convinced her that for a hamster to want to come and live with her, there has to be no binky in sight. She still misses the pacifier, weeks after bravely giving it up on July 20, at the ripe old age of 5 1/3 years. In return for a Nintendo DS. And yes, I paid 830 ringgit to swipe that binky!

More Common Than a Proton on the Road

Here's a dootzy one for you: What's more common than a Proton on the road these days? A Vios? A City?
A Food Blog!
They are aplenty. Everyone eats, so now everyone shoots what they eat and put together strings of words to tell us what they've eaten. (Yours truly included, except I don't lug the Nikon around very much, so I don't do many food reviews). Some great blogs I've stumbled upon are: Ms. CK Lam's What2See: The Best of Penang Food (which has a friendly writer to boot), Penang Tuapui, and out of KL, A Whiff of Lemongrass (whose picture-perfect shots are enough to make me green).

Kayrin's Dream

"I had a dream last night," Kayrin told me over the phone today. "A hippopotamus ate daddy. Luckily he escaped."
Thank goodness daddy's not in a hippo-infested area. He's just in Hanoi this week.

Skin Care

As I age, the search for effective skin care becomes more pressing. Since last year, I've been using Renova. It's tretinoin, 0.05% strength. It's one of those creams, as KK my friend said, we can't recommend to everyone. Once you start, you go through the "it gets worse before getting better" phase.
There's the flaking of my skin initially. Yes, it can seem quite awful. Skin near my nose and my mouth could be easily rubbed off my face if i scrub too hard. Shaw Feng, at one point, remarked that I looked like hadn't cleaned my face properly in the morning. Eeeek.
But wait, tretinoin does exfoliate the skin or something like that. Supposed to help with acne too. And reading reviews on SmartSkinCare.com helps. It's a good site in that the articles are written in a very objective manner. Any questions I have on the latest treatment I read about in magazines, I come to this site for details and assessments. IPL, dermabrasion..they've got it covered.

July

July is a month filled with sadness and happiness. A bit oxymoronic. July 6 marked Woan's second anniversary in heaven, and we placed flowers for her at Nilai Memorial Park, where her remains are kept, on July 5. Khoon Eng and Ivan made their way there on July 6, a Sunday. It was especially hard in the days leading up to the anniversary. I kept thinking about her last days with us two years ago. Well, she's not suffering now, as Shaw Feng said.
July 12 came along and Shaw Feng was very sweet to arrange a dinner at IOI Marriott's Japanese restaurant, Midori, for all nine of us! Whoa...it was fun doing a buffett with the family, where you get to peek at what others on the table are eating. Kayrin had lots of fun with Ivan around.
And my birthday present? a HTC Touch Diamond! So, after 1 Ericsson, 4 Nokias, I've now abandoned the main brands..Thanks to the lovely, terrific gift from Shaw Feng. I promise I'll one day be posting lots of pix on this blg ;)
And July hasn't endd. There's more to come. July 31 is when Shaw Feng turns 38. Scratching my head now trying to find a place for dinner. Somewhere he, Kayrin and I can eat good food and have some fun. Any suggestions?

The Good and the Bad

I was mulling this entry for the past two days and had wanted to write solely about how awful weekends can be just before SF travels. He gets stressed and I get worked up about his not helping, and we end up having rows or simply ignoring each other. Well, it did go that way this past weekend. We snapped at dinner on Saturday. The crappy food pretending to be Penang favourites didn't help either. That was at Simply Penang at Bandar Puteri Puchong. I'm not going there a second time, that's for sure.
Today, it dawned on me that SF is one who's always there with me for family gatherings. He comes along without complaint. If this was a piece only about how awful my husband is, I'd probably get labelled a witch then!
He cooks for us most weekends. His latest venture: Tofu in minced pork, laced with Shaoxing wine. Oooh, superb!
In the previous few weeks, it was braised pork in soy sauce, with hard-boiled eggs.
As you can tell, pork is very favoured by SF.
Thanks sweetie, and Happy Birthday!

Extra Mandarin

Kayrin started her extra Mandarin classes this month. That's an additional 1/2 an hour a day, which brings her schooling hours to 12 p.m. from 11:30 a.m.
So far, the little one is enjoying it. What a relief for me! I was initially against lengthening her hours. Why torture a kid, right? But being a kiasu mom, I was also worried she wouldn't adjust to Mandarin-medium classes next year, so after speaking to the headmistress, we're doing a one-month trial. I'll speak to the little girl at the end of the month to see if she wants to continue with the classes.
She's caught on that there is some difference with the additional class.
"In class I speak English, but during pou chup (tuition), I speak Mandarin," she told me two days ago.
She's having fun so far, she said.
I am an anxious mom, ya? I worry about overloading her. I worry I'm not giving her enough lessons.
And oh, now, our evening past-time is reading C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. We've finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Now, it's Prince Caspian.

Viral Fever -- Losing 3 Nights' Sleep

Kayrin developed a fever on June 24, and I no longer remember when I discovered it. It's a bit of a blur now. How can anyone blame me for my not-too-great memory when I lost three straight nights of sleep after that.
She saw Dr. Wong on June 25, I still went back to work that day. But two more nights of being awake after that, I had to call in and ask the boss for a day off. Thank goodness boss is a nice fella and I got my day off to recuperate. I slept and kayrin slept the afternoon away too after we got Augmentin, dhasalone and Piriton from Dr. Wong. What a big difference the medicine did!
So on Saturday, June 28, we went to thank Dr. Wong and her staff with a box of Belgian chocolates. All for giving mummy back her sleep!

Contact Dermatitis

I've got another theory for my cold sores -- contact dermatitis. Last week, I was rinsing my mouth twice a day with Bactidol. On the rare occassions when I use it, at SF's urgings when I complain of a sore throat, I'd get tingling sensations on the tongue. Since SF dismisses my complaints, I thought that may be it was natural to get these sensations. So last week, I just overdid it with Bactidol..and voila, here's the cold sores in full-blown stage, at least 4 lacerations on the tip of my tongue, and three more on the insides of my cheek. And 2 on the frontal part of my gums. No more Bactidol for me. People with eczema are more prone to contact dermatitis, which is an allergic reaction of sorts.

Cold Sores

Apparently I can't blame Kayrin's teacher meeting or the boss or Shaw feng for my cold sores. Not entirely, anyway. Some food trigger a breakout and most times, you inherit from your parents the tendency to develop them. I know for sure that my mom has them from time to time. Mouth ulcers are also triggered by food such as cheese and nuts.
Guess what..on Friday the 13th, I couldn't stomach the lamb served at the office lunch, so I had yoghurt with crackers smashed into them. And when that wasn't sufficient, I had my second slice of cheddar cheese with bread! That was two slices in a day after months and months of not having any cheese.
Now I'm really suffering.

Stress and Mouth Ulcers

The stress of having the boss in town, the nightly dinners with colleagues and Kayrin's parent-teacher meeting must have gotten to me. Over the weekend, I woke up with a mouth full of ulcers! Yikes. Tongue was so swollen I couldn't talk properly. There was a cold sore on my gums, on the insides of my cheeks. Wah, I haven't had it so bad for so long. This is really torture. That plus the cheese, the Jacob oatmeal crackers on Friday must have done it. Uggggghh. I'll have to try meditation to destress.

Meet the Teacher

I'm going to my first parent-teacher meeting at Kayrin's kindy tomorrow. It's quite unnerving for me. One, it means I'm really the adult here now, with someone to be responsible for apart from offering her my breast when she used to cry. So if it didn't sink in during birth that I'm now someone's mommy, if it didn't register when the Tumble Tots teacher called me "Kayrin's mum," then this could be it.
I'm anxious because it means that instead of telling the teacher how I want my daughter taught and what I want her to learn, I could be the one under the microscope for my failure as a parent.
What if measured against other parents, I'm always not there for her? What if measured against Nicodamus' mummy, I had failed to teach my cheeky one how to write? What if up against Aliyah's emak, I didn't spend enough time showing my daughter how to draw? I've always been a failure at drawing, anyway. Oh yikes, I need some sort of hand-holding at the meeting tomorrow.
And adding to my distress is Shaw Feng having to scoot off to Hanoi yesterday after my arranging for weeks for him to come along. Boy, oh boy :)
Kayrin's headmistress must have sensed my anxiety when I rang this morning, hoping I'd dreamt all this up.
"Oh, it would be good for both parents to come, not just the mom or dad," Miss Cheng said. I muttered some sort of reply about being there early.
I guess doing this is just like giving birth, no? I just have to go through the experience on my own. It's great that Shaw Feng was there to hold my hand throughout. For that, I'm so very proud of him. There are the doctors and nurses to urge you on but guess who pooped the baby out. Breathe, let the air out of the lungs, unclench the teeth. And pray for me!

A Peck on the Cheek..

A peck on the cheek
A hug for the day
A warm word to get me on my way
on this I count on to keep nerves from being frayed

A smile as a greet
A touch of the hand
A loving look makes the day end
on a sweet note, just like how we were when we began.

Happy Father's Day, Sweetie!

Gasoline Surges 41%

And so the day begins with a 41 percent jump in gasoline prices to 2.70 ringgit a liter, for the 97-RON grade. 41 percent. Ouch.
If you had been pumping 50 ringgit of gasoline into your car till yesterday, today that same amount of the liquid gold would cost you 70 ringgit.
If you had been paying 70 ringgit each time, now it's 100 ringgit.
Now, does that hurt or what.
We shouldn't be so furious, I'd say. After all, we'd been shielded from a fuel-price increase in the past two years. In Australia, prices for the drivers have surged 60 percent in the past year.
In Singapore, the 95-RON is going to S$2.186 a liter (latest info from May 23). That's 5 ringgit. So phew, we are such lucky Malaysians.
But wait, no! Just a minute. What gets my goat is the lack of options! In Singapore and Australia, one could take the train, the bus.
At the Raffles Place MRT station, changing trains mean crossing the platform, or taking the escalators to another level of the station.
Anyone been to the Masjid Jamek interchange lately? To change trains, cross the road at your own peril. Sure, there's a zebra crossing but it's not even sheltered. When it rains, I can't even cross that road without getting into puddles that are at least a few inches deep.
And taking the train means I have to rely on SF to drop me off at the station in the morning. Reasons:
(1) not safe to leave my car at the carpark if I drive there. Car could be gone when I return.
(2) not safe for me to walk alone in the carpark at 6+ a.m. or at 7+ p.m.

And not safe to take the cab on my own to head home from the train station.
So, tell me, oh wonderful ministers, have you ever had a day of commuting to work on public transportation in the Klang Valley?

Shoe Horn

We got a free shoe horn when Shaw Feng bought a pair of shoes over the weekend. Curious as a child is, Kayrin wanted to know what it's for. Aha! A chance to keep her occupied for a while, I thought. So I cleverly asked SF to show her what it's for. Five minutes passed, and having learned how the 2-footer long stick works, she goes around lightly smacking SF and I with it.
She was chanting as she did it: ``Horny, horny.''