Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Not Unhappy, Not Crazy

I haven't written for a while. I've been busy dealing with issues relating to a new home, to Kayrin not coping well with her Mandarin lessons at kindy. May be that's why I'm again battling another coughing fit. I've gone back and realized that I tend to fall ill in February and August. Is that when the weather changes? Is that when I get stressed out by changes in routine? Or just that I'm not getting enough rest at those times of the year?
I haven't written because I haven't been really mad or angry, or ecstatically happy. But that doesn't mean life is not great. In fact, life is good. I'm pottering on. SF was away last week, in Hanoi, and Kayrin and I appreciate his being home even more since then. He's a great parent. He participates in everything to do with Kayrin. OK, I still complain that he doesn't get up often enough to pull the duvet over her. He's an easier person to live with these days. When he gets angry with me, he stays angry for a much shorter period. That's something I really appreciate. I'm the kind to want to talk things through. And he keeps mum. So, you can imagine the stress when I want to talk AFTER a fight and he wants to stay quiet. Yup, it gets us into another fight. So, I'm trying not to talk right away. Not right then. And he bounces back faster, talking to me normally. That really eases the tension, because after a while of talking about other things, I don't feel the urgency to be the psychoanalyst in our relationship.
I'm happy with things now. I try not to think too far. I'm a worrier. Big time. But I'll try to manage with worrying about nothing for the moment. May your day have spots of worry-free time too.

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