Drained

Things aren't so smooth for Kayrin at school after all. After a good first week, it has degenerated into a nightmarish second and third week, with tantrums that led to her being spanked by daddy and me. May be being absent for two days, when she had a cold and cough, triggered it. She then became weepy over the thought of going to school. She'd go to bed crying, wake up weeping, return home unhappy. She'd tell the maid she doesn't want to go to school. I daren't even ask that of my parents, that I didn't want to go to school, if it was OK by them.
What have I done wrong in her upbringing? SF, time and again, reminded me that I'm responsible for any wayward behaviour down the road because I am too lax with her now. But she's now so very adamant about having her own way, so what have I done wrong in the past? Left the MIL to manage her? I've taken to driving her to school for a week now. The crying has lessened but hasn't stopped. That and the battling of traffic to get to work before a daily morning conference call and the mad hustle to get home to bathe and feed her has totally drained me. I feel a failure of a parent. I dare not push her at school now but I have no compassion for a wimp. I can't stand clingy behaviour. But that's my child. I'm plain exhausted. I know not what to do with her, for her.

Sedaya

Sedaya
Originally uploaded by leechingshen

Exactly a month to being 7 and Kayrin started her first day at Sri Sedaya school. Jan. 4 started well: She awoke at about 5 a.m., insisted on having her milk from a cup (instead of the bottle), showered, dressed up in her uniform of a blouse, a skirt and a tie without kicking up a fuss, and gamely waited for the school van in the pouring rain. Van arrived at 6:45 a.m. and she got off in the school compound at 7: 20 a.m.
I accompanied her the entire day, where she ate her snack and her lunch along with the 50 odd kids from Primary 1. Didn't see any kid bawling his or her eyes out on the first day. Pretty amazing. Unlike the days of old, when kids would go running out of class to mommy or daddy outside the class.
Instead, I spent the entire school day, till 3:30 p.m. hanging around in the school compound and intermittently peeping into her classroom.
It's been a big relief for me, to see her adjusting well, on her way to greater independence. Not having her grandma with her full time means Kayrin doesn't have grandma pandering to her every whim and fancy but so far she's coped, making new friends along the way as she and her kindy friend Jia Ler keep each other company.