Merry Christmas

This Christmas marks the second one Woan is spending in Heaven! We miss you so Woan. This Christmas, Shaw Feng, Kayrin and I trooped to Glad Tidings Church with ma and Wei. Very nice service as it didn't have too many performances. I hate those with dragged-on dramas.
After that, KE and Ivan joined us for the drive to Nilai Memorial Park to lay flowers for Woan, saying a prayer that she's now enjoying beautiful flowers up in Heaven. The skies broke not too long after, so we left and SF, Kayrin and I made our way to Kajang to Audrey's Christmas party.
For Chrismas, I gave SF a book and a key holder. And I got a D80 Nikon camera in return! Ooops.

Fear

Turn away
while I find the will
to accept what's come this day.
Will I
ever muster the strength
to hold my head high
and face the sun.
When, inside, all I want
is to hide.
Cuddled up
In the darkest corner
every drop
is just but one tear
washing away all my pride.
And hopefully, my fear.

A Poem

This was in an e-mail from the brainstem chat group. It's sad but comforting at the same time, especially as I miss Woan so this Christmas. Lyan reminded me yesterday, while laying flowers for Woan, that she's been gone almost a year and a half. But it's still very painful to be thinking of her leaving us.

This poem was written by a 13 year old boy who died of a brain tumor that he
had battled four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his
mom before he died. His name was Ben.

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing
or love he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas
and wipe away that tear

Remember,
I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

Boy Scout

Shaw Feng was so much into boy-scouting activities as a teenager (before I knew him) that by the time we met, I was more than half amused that he could be so excited about what he used to do, those knots, those camping days. What use are those experiences in life, I'd ask myself. Not going to fetch you the big bucks. No one hires you for your boy-scout badges, right?
Then we got married and set up home, and me, with my tenderfoot Girl Guide badge to show, could do nothing much for the house! I could climb up the stairs to clean the fans. But when they start giving that "kreng-kreng" noise when switched on, I pretend I don't hear them.
Yesterday, Shaw Feng fetched the ladder, and in about 45 mins, fixed all four ceiling fans on the first floor. Whoa, was I impressed. He only dropped once a wrench-like tool from about 9 feet up.
Then, wrapping up the show, he realized he couldn't find a missing part for that wrench-like tool. (OK, OK, I don't know my tools. I only know wrench because 4-year-old Kayrin pointed out what a wrench was.)
It was spinning on top of the bedroom fan. Quite safe, of course, stuck to the inner parts of the fan. He's still my hero for the day, for the weekend. I wouldn't have known right away which fan I left bits n pieces of tools in. Thank goodness for a boy scout. And oh, Shaw Feng has to tie all knots at home.

Thank Goodness for a Spouse

More a case of thank goodness for my spouse, actually! I write a bit about the environment, a bit more about my angst, even more about my wonderful four-year-old daughter. But with the other half, hmm, I hardly do. Not that he's insignificant. In fact, this is to say "thank you", albeit in a cheap way!
Kayrin came down with a cold on Monday evening, and by Tuesday morning, I was zombied out from a night of interrupted sleep. Shaw Feng nudged me that morning and said he'd take Kayrin to the doc that day. I couldn't have done anything that day except drag myself to work and try to stay awake with a pounding head. SF then proceeded to stay home with her. Well, he was the perpetrator of the cold, actually. I was pretty happy with myself for not nagging. Ooops, sorry, forgotten there that this entry ain't about thankin' my good old self. So, not-so-naggy me makes for happy family, and thank goodness for another parent. Two parents to a kid makes it a pain at times when we can't agree on how to feed a kid but at other times, it's the best place to be -- only your spouse will roll his eyes with you when your kid declares she's had enough of her parents and wants to move out.

Swimming...

lessons it is for Kayrin. She went to her trial class on Dec. 1. And that's after chickening out of her initial one a week earlier.
So we started the Saturday morning by tentatively mentioning swimming but not wanting to discuss too much about it. She was apprehensive when we got to the pool and told the administrator that, "I'm nervous."
But 5 minutes of looking around at kids in goggles and swimming attire and the inviting pool on a clear, beautiful day, she decided she wants to change into her swimsuit too. She looks so cute in her arena swimming cap! I know I'm biased but all little girls are so cute being so chubby in their swimwear. They are shaped like potatoes, with bulging tummies when in their gear. But oooohh, so cute are they that even Ms Hilton in her two-piece couldn't compete!
Bernard the swim instructor had Kayrin and Vishagan (a 4-year-old boy) walk around the submerged edge of the pool, got them to play with some water rockets, and got them to do some breathing exercises. I was more nervous than the kids, I think. And so 45 mins flew by. Kayrin was hesitant about leaving the pool. So we paid a deposit and promised to be back. It's 900 ringgit for 24 lessons. Very expensive, my thought when I first rang them a month ago. But now I think, how very worthwhile since I have not the patience to teach!