When I Wear

the IWC Pilot watch,
I don't stick my left hand to rummage in my bag;
I don't wash my hands (in order to preserve the crocodile strap);
I can't stick my hand under the desk
And in the train
I hold it very close to my chest!
If only I could keep the beauty at home
But oh no, it needs to stay on my wrist
Just so it continues to tick.

Return on Investments

I gave a watch to Shaw Feng and less than a week later, I got one in return. That's amazing. It does make me feel a bit guilty that he's had to blow a paycheck on one. Thank you, Sweetheart, and you really shouldn't have.
I am feeling simply very happy I managed to find the one watch you wanted so much. Well, if these things boomerang back to me, I should show more of my love then! Wouldn't it be great what I'd get back? ;)

Objects of Desire

Kayrin's in the throes of her first infatuation.
"I'm going to love Seng Hong forever and ever," she said two evenings ago. "I'm going to marry him. I'm going to have his baby."
To that, Shaw Feng had this to say, "CHOI!"
It's pretty hilarious. But for now, Daddy and I are keeping straight faces and advising Kayrin not to commit herself too early and to please bring him home to meet us.
And as for Shaw Feng, his object of desire is not live. Not cheap, too. Here it is:

Very nice, I must say. But oh-so-out-of-reach! Can't locate a single unit anywhere among the retailers of "fine watches" in Kuala Lumpur

From the Pits to Ecstasy

This week started out fairly usual. Monday, a day to troop off to work, mentally psyching myself for the first five-day week in weeks as I drive through heavy traffic. Too many holidays peppered across the first quarter of this year does get one down!
By Tuesday, I was quite ill. The cough that started with a sore throat on Dec. 31 hasn't gone away but on Feb. 12, it was back with a vengeance. Looking back, it must have been a stressed-out me that made me just keep goading Shaw Feng about his Facebook life, something I only found out last week. By Tuesday morning, he was not a happy camper. Neither was I. The cough made me irritable and the more agitated I was, the more I went for a fight.
A big row I got all right. Heart thumping, fingers tensed, jaw clenched, I was a real pain. Shaw Feng wasn't far off when he called me mad. This is only what I'd admit on hindsight. I was so self-centred that I didn't apologise for subjecting him to what I deem a necessity. I was so obsessed in finding the causes of our miscarriage, of staying healthy, that I only got myself into a downward spiral. And so I hurt him for months. My apology is here, Sweetie. I'm ashamed of myself.
I was relieved when we managed to at least come face-to-face to agree on being in a row. Next stop, after making my way to Cyberjaya to do that, I went off the the doctor's.
This was where it really hit me. After taking the prescribed medication (a cocktail of steroids and antibiotic), I drove away and within minutes was wondering what it'd be like to just careen off the railings while taking a sharp corner. It wasn't a thought that says: I want to kill myself.
It was simply, what if just twist the steering wheel to the right while taking a corner to the left.
I was more than a little shell-shocked. Driving into a housing area, I parked the car by the road side and called Shaw Feng. Just what he needed! After a whole morning of dealing with a stalker of a wife, he's now hearing me say I'm depressed. I felt like I was not in my own body. Telling me to go shopping and my replying that I couldn't must have driven home the point to him that I was not myself. Look, I'm a sworn shopaholic! I shop when I'm down, I shop when I'm overworked, stressed and I splurge when I'm happy.
That poor husband of mine had to spend more than an hour speaking to me over the phone after losing sleep the night before, dealing with my numerous calls in the morning. He deserves better. Actually, no, sweetie. You have enough on your hands with me than to look around, don't you? ;)
The happy part, I must report, was that I became more ill. I get to be home then. It was time spent talking more to my spouse, listening to him when he speaks. Hugs for Kayrin also worked wonders in mending my relationships.
With a minimum of 10 hours at work a day (more often than not, its 11 hours), and two hours of commute, I'm left with little to bring home to Shaw Feng and Kayrin. That means, coming home to them and reminding him to file his letters, pay the bills (hey, I have my share too), supervise the maid, entertain baby and inspect her homework (another big source of stress for me when the year started). And for her, I was anything but a playmate. Snapping turtle of a mom was more like it.
Yak, yak, yak (Shaw Feng reads 'nag, nag, nag').
Withe being ill, I mentally tried to slow down. Holding back my retorts when Shaw Feng speaks means I actually found that the man does have great ideas and solutions! I pride myself on being very independent but that doesn't mean I always have to be the one on top! What a relevation.
And we even spent a whole day with each other: Breakfast at a hole-in-the-wall kind of coffee shop, tea/coffee at Starbucks (knowing how cheap I am, that's a pretty rare occurrence), shopping for a very expensive timepiece (which we haven't gotten our hands on), catching a movie, enjoying lunch and best of all, holding hands and not taking a single call on the phones. Wow. What a way to celebrate our 20th Valentine's Day.
What's more, the nights were more fun too, with, ermmm, lots more activity. Oh, we're just an *old* married couple. Familiarity can lead to some extended excitement! I'd better stop here before this gets rated.
This is a reminder and a wake-up call to me, at the end of the day. Channelling too much of myself to my job (which I love to bits, I must say) can only kill me by hurting the very ones I thought I'm working so hard for: Shaw Feng and Kayrin.
There will be days when the shadow is all we see. But if there weren't any cast around, how are we to see how beautiful sunlight is.

Xin Nian Quai Le

Wishing most people much happiness and good health this year of the rat. Well, I do have a few people I wouldn't convey nice greetings upon ;)
The lunar new year started off well enough, with Shaw Feng and I staying loving during the first four days. And then today, it went a little awry. I offended my other half. All just days before Valentine's Day arrives too, as he had reminded me yesterday evening.
It all started during a CNY gathering, at a friend's place. Lo and behold, I found out that my spouse is an avid Facebooker. What? I was a little sad. There's a secret life that he has that I know not about. Haven't I pledged to keep abreast of his interest? What the heck happened? Was I too engrossed with my daughter's kindergarten homework? Am I too old to know what's going on in this real world? Better stop reading those car magazines! Gotta learn up Wordpress, Photoshop or find out what Mark Zuckerberg is up to. Larry Page's romance is passe, no? Or may be I'll have to read Valleywag everyday on top of The Electric New Paper. May be I'm just paranoid, like I always am. But I sure didn't like being left out. I may not be the hippiest and most happening around but I've got to be in the know. A busybody, no doubt.

Kayrin's 5

The little girl turned 5 on Feb. 4 and that day being a school day, Shaw Feng and I dropped her off at school and then went for breakfast on our own to celebrate. Yes, eating by ourselves, having no kid to interrupt every sentence is a rare occassion. Then, we trooped to kindy with the birthday cake. A novel way for me to celebrate. In the past, she's had one party (when she turned four) and three other `celebrations' at home (read: no party cos mommy's lazy).
I like this kindy party. Nothing for me to clean up. There's some preparation. But nothing Shaw Feng and I can't deal with. He printed invites to the party, and we then put together party packs (a box of raisins, a pack of ribena drink, some biscuits, a bar of kit-kat and a yo-yo). Turned out quite fun.
As all mothers do, I got a bit melancholic but not too much, remembering the day she popped out into this world and staring into the strange face of someone I know I'd love, someone I felt I've known for months, yet am only starting to get to find out all about her. Someone so very amazing because she knows how to suckle without being taught. Happy 5th Birthday, mommy's darling Kayrin!